hey yoo, with the laughing eyes (: [[so beautiful.

empty wallets & longing desires;

2006-10-06T23:04:00.000+08:00

Rows and rows of earrings; big ones, dangly ones, sparkly ones & simple studs adorned an entire white washed wall. Lina was reminded of why exactly she didn’t like going shopping with the girls very much. It wasn’t the wasted minutes pondering if the black heels will go better with skinny jeans or green Havanas (the latest must-have this season) that she minded, but it was the apologetic smile and walk home empty-handed that killed her.

“Not buying anything, babe?” enquired Suzy congenially, cocking her head to one side as she studied Lina.

Lina quickly fastened her lips into a smile and shook her head. The same old song and dance.

“You almost never buy anything ah,” commented Mattie idly while casting a critical eye over a pretty jade bracelet, as her long locks swept over her shoulder.

“Aiya, she’s probably saving up for something REALLY glam like a Gucci handbag or something. That’s what my sister’s friend did.” Suzy quickly intervened.

Lina mumbled something about waiting outside and quickly stepped beyond the harsh glare of the bright shop lights. Her beautiful eyes strayed to the clutch she held in her hand. She had scrimped months of pocket money and endured foodless days for that damn thing. It wasn’t an Autumn fad or the latest Harajuku trend. She had liked it, wholly.

It was a desperate seduction really. Calling out to her from every thread of its gold interwoven splendour on the shelf. She had money in her purse that fine Saturday, but only bought it three weeks later on a return trip to Orchard. She had contemplated, convinced herself out of buying it, appealed to her senses to own it and settled mind over heart before finally cajoling her conscience away. After all, she hadn’t bought anything over $6 in months.

She had grown used to it. It wasn’t a question between Fish & Co or the hawker centre. Not eating wasn’t simply to be thin but more like to save money. She rarely bought things as she could never be sure that there was enough cash and couldn’t bear to risk embarrassment. Retail therapy was never a solution to anything. Many a glass showcase had been fogged up by her misty breath and cute nose pressed against it. Her eyes took in details of fine embroidery and the latest technology to sustain her nagging dissatisfaction, borne out of the knowledge that she would never be able to own it. Not to say it was easy - it had been hard. Petulant pouts for new board shorts or pretty school bags never graced her lips the moment her family had become poor.

Poor. Sounds almost like a sin, mused her cramped toes. Poor was like, Shut-Up-And-Move-On. Doing well in school wasn’t an option. It was for scholarships and any form of bursary awards. Her brain didn’t delight in integration not revel in devouring new poems and texts. It became bland compulsions. Her heart wasn’t in what she did. She felt guilty eating sometimes. Guilty for expecting rewards. Who could bloody hell afford it anymore? There are poorer people in the world. Everything is a want, not a need. It boiled down to willpower, she silenced her desire.

Sometimes, sometimes, she got confused. Like when her father bought the gleaming new vehicle. The neighbourhood basked in its brand new license plate glory. SFK. New. New. Expensive. COE? Road tax. Petrol consumption lower was the argument against her tentative questioning. She found it hard to swallow. But she understood. Or at least tried to. Who was she to question anyway? Just a bloody sixteen year old. Don’t be so rude.

But she couldn’t help it, you know. The underlying tears every time she held back or resisted buying something. Changing handphones was not an option. She quietly missed calls without caller ID, suffered from lagging SMSes and took less than 1.2 megapixel pictures with the bloody thing. Technology is temporary, she told her bleeding eyes.

The stabbing pain in her heart was harder to ignore. It wasn’t so much of jealousy. Just sadness. She felt frustrated that she had grown to accept the lifestyle she had moulded herself into. Don’t buy anything. Look, Touch, don’t bring home. She lived stifled. Praying helped. Sometimes. She liked to believe that God could hear, and he would pour holy water over her heart and hold her through those bouts of desires.

She sighed heavily and rested her chin on her hand as she let her eyes stray over the millions of people who were cramming Far East Plaza that Saturday. Who knows, whispered her heart, beneath that Mango top perhaps there’s another just like me.

Were these years not supposed to be the best ones of her life?

She sat like Patience on a wall with a sad & secret smile, praying some day it'll be okay.

nyehnyehnyeh.

2006-10-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

yo yo. prelim results are outz and 407 is teh sex! we have 22 single digit pointers. whee (: 406 improved loads and i knw other people did too. i'm really proud of us 407ners. i think we showed those people who kept looking down on us and comparing us with past batches and "oh 407 is crazy" or "oh 407 always skip skool, sure fail" or "oh 407 has no focus, no drive". HAH! especially thanks t mrs c and ms c man (: they're amazingggg! and i think mrs j & mrs l helped the sciences loads. and of course aunty t for all our a's! screams. hopefully it's t vj we will go & still be tgthr. i have toona! and nicolette. hahahs. & xd.

whee. how's life? enjoyed my ass off after prelims. now it's back t serious work. math math math. we're swimming in it. pools of dy/dx on kinematics floats. mann. i feel like writing but i can't, sigh. after exams nad. nyehhh. jianyangggg. come online. whines. CHUUU & GEGE. whee. hahahs. fadhly im gg t your alma mater. *crosses fingers. pak is da boy (:

class is semi-boring, sam is cranky (heh we all are) and we're kcians for officially less than a week more. sad, no?

won't go all sentimental at the moment. but yeah. st darling. (:

some pics from the 407 thing. as disbanded as we may seem - i think it's still somewhat four-oh-seven forever for all of us. (:
naddy.

son of heaven please;

2006-09-24T14:50:00.000+08:00

buried under sheens of dust
lie broken fragments of my past.
from yellow boots to stiletto heels
a timeline of what I feel.

candy coated recollections
of a teenager’s earnest affections
in the form of stuffed toy gifts
and stolen kisses in a lift.

cold bitterness that’s steeped in time
of moments that refused to rhyme
and acid truths too harsh to bear
in broken dreams of lover’s lairs.

warm sunshine smiles that I hold close
tears falling soft, off mother’s nose
of hair braided so lovingly
and playful hopscotch by the sea.

unknown night in town painted red
of immediate regret for what I said
a sacred sanction between friends
a trust that forever could never end.

conversations by the moon
endings that came all too soon
three way conferences which I held dear
till reality materialized crystal clear.

accidental attractions between a pair
on autumn days so sepia fair
a captured moment not meant to be
hopeful hearts of mashed uncertainty.

angsty writing crossed in ink
when alcohol was a common drink
flying so high only to fall
questions if I’ll ever have them all.

of salted tears on stained pillow case
a part of youth that went to waste
and turned now into adult’s prime
how fast thou art, sweet wretched time -

like shadows in the background
a history of soundless sounds
nothing can take away all of these
my best kept secrets;
in this walk-in closet of memories.

forbidden city is a pretty show.
bang, i got hurt yesterday.
cough & sneeze. it sucks being sick.

`like winter nights need fire, like temples need a shrine, like lovers need desire, like prophets need a sign - i need him`

2006-09-20T14:22:00.000+08:00

grey familiarity of shirts
and black heavy metal.
marilyn manson promised
an untainted love.
eyelashes plant butterfly kisses
on bare skin;
she shivers in 34B cups.
almost regrets paint
stairwell walls.
the feeling of
hearing watches tick tock time
but not wanting to leave.
touch your swollen lips
and they tingle.
hearing muffled voices
from inside apartment units
and wondering if you'll
make it to be his lawfully wedded wife
and kids - 3 girls and 1 boy.
the boy won't be as wonderfully bad.

after some fourteen weeks;
her phonecall sobs keep you up at night.
up all night/
your toy tiger salted by her tears.

a single blank;

2006-09-16T22:04:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

woohoos. mid way through prelims mannn. haha. screwy ah. oh well. i think our class is somewhat getting closer (: haha it's so fun to know that a few floors up or down in the library, i can find a familiar face and ask rena/ruth/dawn/gabby/sam a question if i panic and not know smth.

studied six chapters of bio in 3 hrs tday. ahh. please don't pour out of my ears.

then more chem with dewei (grumbles). saw vic and crystal studying. jaw drops. they're psychos! they're like reading REDSPOT and sec 4 assessment books. gosh. mad cows (:

OH OH! i bought a new ringgggg. haha. accessory woohoo. prettyful, prettyful.
i could give a play by play of the papers but that might jst be too depressing. ah well.

loves! naddy.

*snugguhpun pertalian antara anda dan saya telah dicairkan akibat air mata dan perasaan yang bercanggahan, malah, sebahagian hatiku masih tidak dapat lepaskan anda. maaf, bekas sayang, kalau perbuatan saya kini membuat anda keliru. selama setengah tahun, andalah segalanya. jadi sukar sekarang untuk melepaskanmu. say doakan persahabatan kami akan berjaya.
*yang kedua, oh bingungnya hatiku! hai, tidak dapatku menafikan bahawa anda sungguh manis kepada saya dan senyuman anda benar-benar membuat hatiku terlonjat. tetapi.. benakku belum sedia untuk merasai emosi sebegini sekarang, dengan kamu, ataupun sesiapa lagi. oh cara apakah yang patutku mengguna untuk membuka rahsia ini? ku bersyukur atas persahabatan mu.. malah ini terlalu cepat, terlalu sirius - dalam masa yang terlalu singkat.

the only lover's words i need to hear are those printed in twelfth night.
the only chemistry i need to feel, is that of acids bases and salts.
the only thing i need right now, is to accept this freedom, enjoy it, and take my time.

prelims are dawning.

2006-09-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

dear diaree,

if i could, i would
for a moment lose the world to your eyes
and respond to your lips
with unabashed adoration.
if i could, i would
act on a moment's impulse
and react with wild abandonment
the same way you do for me.
if i could, i would
screw what's holding me back
and take a leap & fall.

cos i hate myself for the way
i make you feel -
i don't want to be leading you on, sir.

but the trouble is, i don't know exactly how i feel.

DOOFIE THE COW & MS D' MOO (d for drama)

2006-09-03T12:49:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

haha yesterday i received the most beyootifullestest moomoo in the world. he measures 43 cm tall and 71 cm long! giggles. his name is doofie. and the most amazing thing is that i never expected it and had half-heartedly accepted the fact that i will never get such luxuries. it was one thousand percent amazing and i am so sorry that i was in such a horrendous mood the night before.

you may laugh, but i love stuffed toys. whats more a moomoo.

dear lord thank you ever so much for blessing me with a newfound friend & joy! please, please keep me focused for the exams. i am ever so grateful, syukur alhamdulillah!

i miss the gang. shik, dewei and i were jst talking last night. it's been over a year and so many things have happened. it's kinda like FRIENDS. we met, some liked, some loved, some didn't, some lost. and now.. i don't know where the group of us stand. i remember last year we were always by the sides of those taking their o's. i'm not bitter or anything, it's jst tt some of us are taking our o's this year.. and that love isn't here. the saddest thing is, i think to some, da gang meant nothing at all, or perhaps little meaning. i guess we were never tight buddies as a whole, and i don't expect us to be, we're too large a group. but i do miss the mutual understanding there was and the knowledge that there's always one of da gang who will send you home/make use of your free incomnig/reply your sms/meet you if you're in a shit mood/wish you happy birthday.

life's like that isn't it? we love and lose. but i wish that we all (myself included) can find it in ourselves t be mature enough to be there for each other. some feelings are hard to erase, and they don't deserve to be. every second that has happened shouldn't be ignored or shoved relentlessly into some unforgiving cob-webbed corner, but instead polished and placed gently like a trophy. i was running through my inbox and laughing fondly at all the moments i've had. i'm really blessed. now if only all those people will still be friends...

shoutouts:
dewei - you know you're number one!
kurt - ahahahs. this feels good (: i had half less bed space but a lot more huggable material.
en qing - hahahs you're so dear thank you for letting me gush!
marco - hmms. yeah wells. you know we've been through a lot.
sharky - hahahs mann i know we'll be okay (:
rena - so how was sat! haha. dont become bimbo please. you know i love you, toona ass your l1r5 was amazing i have your report book. hugs
siantzu - giggles I FEEL A GOSSIP SESSION COMING ONNNNN.
retha - woooooman so how was your birthday?
ruth - AHAHAHS I GOT STORY! (: lit session coming soon.

nikhyboy - ahhh babe, i is missing you.
marcus - your jacket!
selvam - hahahs YOU ARE A SUPER DONG CANT WAIT FOR TUESDAY!
jas - smiles. i hope all is alright btwn us drama buddy. CANT WAIT FOR TUESDAY!
michelle - wow, we've really drifted havent we. ah wells. CANT WAIT FOR TUESDAY!
mwen - babyyyy i always see you my BOO. sniggers. PLEASE COME ON TUESDAY
shik - hey man. i know you're there for me. i is here for you too! CANT WAIT FOR TUESDAY!
dora - sugar sugar BAYBEH CANT WAIT FOR TUESDAY!
maomao - AHH I IS WANTING T HEAR A SONGGGG. SOMEONE TELL MAO BOUT TUES!
yings - hey you. i hope everythings okay in your world. PLEASE COME ON TUESDAY!
kylee - i wish you all the best whatever you decide. PLEASE COME ON TUESDAY!

naddy

~it has been so long since we have talked
i hope that things are still the same
hoping they will never change
cos what we had can't be replaced
don't let our memories fade away
keep them in your heart for always
you made me believe
that i could do almost anything
stood right by me
through the tears through everything
i'll remember you.

nobody's somebody

2006-09-01T23:51:00.000+08:00

I am the epitome
of a tired heart –
filled like a teenage lover’s gift
with painstakingly filled stars,
from a once upon a time.
each star burns with memory
that was captured and cannot
ever be reincarnated.
my crucified faith has been executed
and shot down one time too many,
in boys that have commuted
through my doe eyes and out of my life.
there were many who chased for trophy’s sake,
while others thought they understand
when they really didn’t at all.

one.
I feel safe in your big hands & rich laughter,
blush and fumble with my bag.
sometimes, my words don’t tumble out,
and I wonder if you hear them
or if its even possible for you to know me at all.
I don’t know if I’m letting this die.
maybe.
I’ve wondered how it would be like to fall with thee.
I bet it’s easy to let me go.
or maybe you never held me at all.

two.
the one by my side, thou art most high!
a forever-and-ever sort of understanding
has linked you to me.
we are painted by funny wit,
you hear the things I don’t say.

three.
I once thought we were black & white,
silver & gold, the same overachievers.
till I realised that we could not be further
apart than Mercury and Pluto, two planet pals.
now Pluto isn’t even a planet anymore,
and in you there is no longer companionship.
the picture has faded beyond recognition.

four.
the one I sacrificed the most for,
and got the same amount of sacrifice in return.
you spoilt me, teased me, made me woman.
things will never be the same,
but you protected me
and were my other half for an epoch.
the sky is pulled back to reveal
that the sun has set on that love.
us is a history, nevermore.

five.
I know you play from your heart
I identify with passion.
but sometimes three
is between two & four
and that’s an odd position to be.

six.
a large macdonald’s coke in Venice,
one more could-have-been
to the history’s list.

men’s words are wanton
with the excuse
that I have breasts and periods,
and thus will never understand.
I write; my heart bleeds
the tears my eyes don’t share.
then I stop because I feel these
words ring meaningless.
indifferent ears hold strong
to their tenacious roots.
nothing I say can matter
because I am not priority.

I’m supposed to be strong
and so I don’t let you see me cry.

I am the epitome
of a tired heart –
lead to believe,
then left to fall.
this is the part
when the curtains close on me;
my alienation from the audience
before I get the chance
to curtsy & blow kisses goodbye.

tahan sebak di dada

2006-08-26T00:10:00.000+08:00

dear cikgu,

dari mula, saya ingat apa ibu mengatakan mengenai cikgu. katanya, cikgu selalu menulis 'terlalu baik' di bukunya. tidak pernah saya dapat pujian sebegitu. malah cikgulah yang menyokong kami, menolong kami, dan tidak pernah putus asa.

ketika saya mendapat tahu bahawa saya telah mencapai A1 untuk peperiksaan peringkat o, yang pertama saya ingati ialah cikgu. dan hari yang cikgu benar-benar memberi kami duit, kegembiraan kami tidak dapat saya meluahkan dalam perkataan.

saya ingat juga, masa yang saya duduk, berkaki ayam, dalam bilik cikgu, masa itu ialah apabila cikgu tengah membawa naik semua barang-barang cikgu. saya duduk di lantai hampir satu jam lebih, berceloteh dengan cikgu. kandungan perbualan itu saya semat di hati, cikgu.
benar benar cikgu merupakan seorang yang lain daripada yang lain, keropok, peribahasa, mengaji -semuanya istimewa.

ingat tak cikgu, cikgu mengatakan bahawa cikgu ingin berhenti kerja tahun yang kami habis peringkat o? cikgu pergi terlalu siang cikgu, benar, kami semua merindui cikgu. malah kami tahu, cikgu tidak seksa lagi. dan itulah yang paling penting.
seribu langkah tidak dapat merapatkan jarak antara dunia kami.

cikgu, nadia minta maaf. besok, nadia rasa yang nadia tidak dapat pergi. hati nadia pasti akan pecah seribu, memandang cikgu. dalam memori saya, cikgu masih memegang whistle di atas kantin, dan sedia untuk dengar kata-kata kami jika kami ketuk pintu bilik cikgu, walaupun cikgu tidak mengajar kami lagi. apabila kak hafsah pergi dalam bulan februari, tidak sempat saya sampai ke KL. nadia rasa besok akan lebih dari apa nadia boleh tahan cikgu. cikgu, jangan marah ya cikgu? nadia minta maaf.

nadia tahu harinya belum sampai lagi, tetapi
selamat hari guru, cikgu.

sentiasa murid cikgu,
nadia.

air mata setia mengalir.

SHE SAID SHE LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOONG TIME!

2006-08-19T23:01:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

haha today was a HAPPY day (: amazingly.

okay so morning met my beb aka farid hahahs did studying. wahhh im proud of myself i did like notes for venice and welfare state and education. woohoos. then like a spot of amath, then read four chapters of chem. ALL THIS BEFORE TUITION. then tuition. thennn jeng jeng jenggg.

DEWEI AND I DECIDED WE COULDNT PROLONG THE AGONY, AND DECIDED T WATCH MY SUPER EX GIRLFRIEND.

omg. funnayyyyy. hahahs. we bought stickers for teachers' day cards. met shanker. we had lovely ben & jerry's (dewei is a doll!) and yoshi. haha shanker likes maneater too! good taste. then e two of us watched the movie. OHOH. when i stepped out of the train i met marcus lye on the steps. havent seen that boy in ages. hahahs the boy lent me his jacket. thank god for small favours.

ehmmms nothing else particularly exciting. im wondering if tmrws sunday times will have SKINS or not. ah well.

cheer up kurt!
HEY BHAVNA.
i love kamani.
xD the CHOSEN ONE aka stool boy.
farid BEB.
dewei loves my ASS.
enqing i HAVE THE SONG ON REPEAT.
shanker - SHES A MAAAANEATER.
thanks marcus
HI RANJEET
hello anne, sharon, karishma, sherilyn, sophie, chloe.
hang in there victoria
YEH OKIE st & retha & michelle.
i'd die without rena, ruth, trina, sam and gabby in class.

oh. prefect stuff happened. HMMS. ah well.

back to mugging.
LOVES (:

naddy.

oh you foolish girl

2006-08-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

when you bite your lips
and decide to take that leap of faith after all
your heart is so ready to believe.
to ready to take that first hand
proffered to you
after cut wrist betrayal.
you want to trust
because you are only one person
and one person will fall without love.

then when you fall and trip over a stone
you look up for that darling hand again
only to find it retracted
and holding the hand of he who destroyed your trust
in the first place.
it's like staying up all night
to wrap that gift you agonized over
then giving it,
and getting it back
all torn and forlorn looking.

when something meant everything to you
it's like a million tiny shards
jabbing at your atriums.

nadia you were so darn stupid to believe so quickly.

soothe yourself to sleep;

Someone's Watching Over Me
Hillary Duff
Found myself today, oh i found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back, voice of reason i forgot i had
All i know is you're not here to say what you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight
So i won't give up, no i won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And i will be strong, even if it all goes wrong
When i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
Seen that red light, and it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time, and i won't be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All i know is yesterday is gone, and right now i belong
To this moment to my dreams
So i won't give up, no i won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And i will be strong, even if it all goes wrong
When i'm standing in the dark i'll still believeS
omeone's watching over me
It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
For leaving yourself and you'll find
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart
So i won't give up, no i won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And i will be strong, even if it all goes wrong
When i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe
That i won't give up, no i won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And i will be strong, even if it all goes wrong
When i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe
That someone's watching over,
Someone's watching over, someone's watching over Me
Yeah yeah
Oh oh someone's watching over me

when the days grow colder

2006-08-14T21:51:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

haha this is a LOONG overdue post. well, SKINS is over and we can finally get on with our lives. that day was extremely bittersweet i feel. i felt really really proud and grateful to ranjeet, mayor, dewei, all my actresses kat, kam, charis, ernie, en qing, marco, dancers, ian, senior minister for attending, my mummy for supporting. all the media people were blinding. haha. didja catch my second moment of fame on suria? lols. anyhoos. here's one picture to encapsulate the happier side of it all

haha. andd the vj crew. tan ying and matthew were amazing. of course hariyani and tania too. and ains my new found ass. phweet.

the days tt followed were.. tumultous to say the least. i was destroyed and cradled back again. some truths are devastating. but you knw what? we all go stronger. and i wouldnt have made it thru those few days without enqing, seriously. haha. thanks moo for being there for all three of us. it couldnt have been easy on you.

my friday was spent at the breakwaters. fireworks. waffles. and home we came. yeahh. i also went t visit cikgu r before that, dear all, please find it in your heart t pray for an amazingly strong lady who is very very ill. she's my sec one & sec two cikgu who impacted my life in a large way and it was ultimately cikgu r who got me my a1. dear God, please hold cikgu's hand and ease her through.

sat & sun were pretty hellish. mugging. bio. twelfth night. 6 freaking amath one and twos. omg ultimate man. like seriously. haha. we trooped t eq's hse t study on sun. dewei & i had ben and jerry's. mwahahs. i love you man. trio dinner with the monkey golfer's favourite place. KFC. hahahs. cracks up.

aughh. CA3's were nonsense. well.. yeah. guess cos of SKINS and all. still quite disappointed somewhat with chem and amath, though i got my average for those two. oh wells.

sorry shanker i know i've been kinda distant past few days. really tired. hope your daddy came back fine, and you better rest well please.

bleagh. haha shall reccommend some songs!

maneater - nelly furtado
but it's better if you do - panic at the disco
what hurts the most - rascal flatts

okay. more math to do. im actually eating chips. whoa, fattening.

naddy.

know what? i have this sad nagging feeling that - was just using me.. well, not using me but like jst trying t smooth things over and poof that's it. i feel like the trust thing was all a lie and maybe i dreamed it up or hoped it to be true.
or maybe i was right and i really cant trust anymore. haha. unintentionally hurt.

TWO DAY COUNTDOWN T SKINS!

2006-08-06T23:01:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

bleaghhh past few days have been rehearsals. i actually sang pretty okay last night (; like i cld feel the emotions better. praying my voice doesnt go byebye again and give me a heart attack.

darlings, we've all come so far.DO DO YOUR BESTTTT go go jiayou! hahahahs. the best part was when ian came with the doggy sitting err, doggy style, on his lap, and he prodded me with the stuff toy and said he liked the play. ahhh. promising.

i'm so bloody nervous.

anw. tania baby is dancing. cheers. aunty charis has high energy. kathy and ernie are MUCH better. kam is the SUPER maid. marcos scene becoming better. donna is emceeing matinee. en qing is helping everyone vocally.

dewei bought honey and pei pa kao and glucose for everyone. we went t settle carpets tday. poor borris he must be abit pissed at us. sorry borris!

OH MAN TDAY WAS LIBERATION.
we went TOWN.
and chinatown.
and parkway.
and geylang, but tts not the point.

so towning was quite fun. aiya anything wld have been fun if you've been suffering as long as us souls. i bought new SKIRT which moo (newly crowned cracks up) and dw say is nice. AND I BOUGHT A WHITE TOP. i know. complete jaw drop right. hahahs. yeah. dewei bought a cheena piang white top from chinatown. heeheehee. wow i sat in three cabs tday.

i think SKINS has shown me a lot of things. i dnos. you knw how sometimes we take on too many things and we keep trying t compromise but it screws up anw? yeah. i guess sometimes we really HAVE to sacrifice. reminds me of my prefect/psl/drama/higher malay times. yeah that was HELL. thank god for my understanding teachers.

i dnos, sometimes i think i have failed as a friend, for not being able t completely understand all the time. it's jst the "times" are so frequent and at such a crucial peak in the play's journey. it's not so much angry, i guess. more of hurt and disappointed. and it makes it worse that dia is not telling us how dia feels. like everytime i broach the sub, dia jst doesnt reply my sms or chooses t go off and ignore it. sorries are sorries, and i forgive dia cos i completely love dia. i hate how it's always ME remembering and reminding other people and packing and calling and folding and transporting. i mean we're supposed t all be in this together. i dnos. i jst pray. sighs.

ytd i realised a lot of bonds have been made. i think almost everyone has found their place in the production. i swear without dewei i wldnt have made it through. and the support of my mommy and daddy and siantzu and rena and aretha. and my teachers who have been ever so supportive. and even my principal who has graciously played such an impt role (: ,the council juniors and all LOVES. and ranjeet. how can i ever forget. hahahs. we took photos. god bless MOO for being such a sweet victim HAHA.

bleagh. my mood is completely bleagh at the moment. haha. ultimate downhill.

go ahead, walk on by,
you don't know i'm alive;

YAY finally uploaded pics.

2006-08-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

AHH
dear diaree.

trying my luck uploading pics.
the team. thanks boss! dont kill me if you see your face here. hahahs.

the husband.
i miss you best friend.

dewei! the person always by meee.

i love my council juniors. today i gave some of them a flying kiss! hope you caught it (:

production is coming
PANICS.
so is prelims
DOUBLE PANICS.

i love siantzu and retha and michelleee.

naddy.

losing my voice = very VERY bad.

2006-07-30T10:42:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

it's really almost funny how much council has grown in significance to me, just as my term is coming to a close.
it now takes as much priority as SKINS! my production.
and giving hundred percent to both is really tiring me out.
but the love is worth it (:
sick. which equals really bad. cos my throat is sore and i cant sing nor act.
and my production is in approximately nine days.
sighs.
saturday's marching began quite.. awfully. we felt really exasperated cos everything seems lost.
there aer those who really really try (AND WE APPRECIATE YOU!) and then there are those who just dont.
then cikgu gave us the list of commands and i was trying t break it down for them t understand and as we were re-enacting how it will go, mr j came over and told us we had to go home cos the P and VP dont want sec 4s there.
i think it was the stress from everything and being sick. i completely broke down. aretha and siantzu and michelle and i genuinely couldnt bear to leave.
i loathe hypocrites.
thankfully aunty teo was there. she even gave our contingent some gg and im truly grateful. heard from alicia that the second run went great (: that's good. i'm proud of you!

*takes a deep breath.
the thing that saddens me the most is that i wont be there on the 8th. for my juniors marching, nor the investiture. i will be preparing for my matinee run for SKINS! girls, i am so so sorry. i really would do anything to be able to clap and cheer for you and to have the honour of putting on your badges (well, if any of you want me to that is haha) i remember invest this year, with some of the jrs coming t me t ask me t put on their badges. i never felt so proud. sighs. i WANT to be there, and i wish i could do it. please please take a gazillion pictures.
girls, do your best from now till then and always. we're sorry for breaking down in front of you girls. but please know that we love you EVER so much (:

WE'LL BE THERE FOR YOU
THESE FIVE WORDS WE SWEAR TO YOU! .<3

this week has really pretty much stank. yeahh. im so nervous for production. my voice. help.

tomorrow is a new dawn and a new day.
naddy

for you i will.

2006-07-28T23:15:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

this has been a horrendous week.
i dont know what im going to do.
we try you know. we try so so hard.
and im just going into utter degeneration.
every day is filled with stuff.
i go for rehearsals. i talk to idiots who think they can just not come.
i settle props. i give out flyers. i go down to the cdc.
i stay back for marching. i retrain those who cant get it.
i shout, i be patient. i think what i can do that will help.
i stay back and i stay back and i stay back.
i go for tuition. i come home. i do work. i do homework.
i study. i stay up till two. i do lit essays, higher malay essays.
emath papers, amath papers, read bio, read chem.
prelims are coming. so is my production.
sighs. im falling sick. emceed ccpc again today. got 50 bucks.
thanks xam. was a nice experience. love the cdc staff. came back.
now council is a priority. its on par with skins. and studies.
im dying. joy im losing my voice.
hundred percent for everything doesnt add up.
and it saddens me how we can be putting in so much
but people who are equipped
with so much more physical strength just DONT
have the drive.
position doesnt matter.
what matters, bloody hell, is your heart.
damn it, we're doing this for YOU.

and in the middle of this windswept hell, i pray you'll be fine.

toeing the line;

2006-07-27T01:45:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

even when I’m standing on the edge of everything
that suddenly means nothing at all
a not so distant memory cant be chased away.
you’re the last haunting note
played in minor that I hear when I leave the concert hall.
and me&you is a singular that won’t fall apart.
it’s a noun, verb or adjective;
whatever you please
because we encapsulate looks, thought and heart.
with arms spread wider than an eagle’s
I trust in you
and fall at such a ferocious velocity -
till you buoy me on currents so gentle
that the wind stops rushing by.
time grows fat and listless
and plagues me like stretch marks on a thigh
when your arms and moments of bliss
spent doing absolutely nothing
have left me
there’s almost nowhere left to be invisible anymore
I need to hide
because the world doesn’t see me like you do,
the way you do.
no box nor tin nor ziplock bag
can contain those moments
even pictures are but pictures,
mere frozen moments.
feelings are unphotographable.
and on this midsummer’s night dream
when I’m wandering lonely as a cloud
I bite my lips
and try to remember/forget
the way we used to be.

in warm sunlight bathed me&you,
and glancing back to that unadulterated instant
when a loose strand of my hair blew across your face
and tickled your nose on the esplanade by the bay
I’ve never known a friend like you.

with every inch of my sixteen year old heart,
i want this to be a friendsforever.

naddy.

BMW (:

2006-07-23T14:38:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
my blog has had increased readership since wednesday.
hahahs.
my fri and sat was just SUPER long. ah well but nadia thrives on business.
after friday we went down t town t meet ranjeet and give out the flyers for the y2y website. was kinda disappointed with my dancers, but the darlings made it up on saturday. girls i believe in YOU. you have so much talent! and fadilah - happy belated (: then went for ijtp's drama night with some sji people. was okay. the ijtp girls made use of shadow play which was really nice on their skool walls. the finale was like one big tribal thingy hahahs (x
we were doing super spastic things on the mrt. hahahs. BUTT INEQUALITIES.
let me explain that for you.
pick two people with their butts facing you,
point and put an imaginary 'x' in btwn them then put in the inequality signs. omg you`re super perverse can. hahahs. i think the tall sec 3 boy was freaking out.
and methane and moo. moooo.
okay anyway. sat was marching.
ahh. my darling councillors (:
theyre trying really hard mostly. we only have around 3 more pracs. aiyoi, rethas contingent kept giggling hahahs. karishma and payal were super dong hahahs (x in a cute way. i kinda got impatient at two councillors, but they DID improve before i left and that's all that matters.
FORWARD KATONG CONVENT!
retha and i spent the journey to tuition entirely talking about council. yeah. this past week has been rather amazing (: there are a LOT more smiles when two councillors pass each other, even from different levels and that's the beauty of the board. i hope that what us excos have done has made a different in the juniors lives. no matter how small. just like tiffany and nunis impacted mine before they graduated ): hahahs.
after tuition rushed to rehearsal. thank you charis darling for staying on. en qing sent me a SUPER CUTE cow wallpaper for my phone. i can show anyone who wants t see! after skool of course hahahs (x my dear kathy has tonsilitis! *panics. dear DRINK WATER. yeahh. then dewei came over while i fussed over what to wear for cabaret.
cabaret.
let's just say i wouldnt recommend anyone my age or less going for it. we were cringing half the time while the middle aged men were roaring with laughter and jiggling potbellies. lewd. but emma yong did an AMAZING job. she's one helluva local talent.
my sec 4 book and music week is over. busking was super funny. the super six decided t do it. from singing to jukebox, we cldnt decide and ended up with an item ten mins before the actual thing. heh. we were fortune tellers. i think the juniors found it funny (we hope). we had the three monkeys and the nerd and the thinker and moi the wise old man. hahahs.
"if you marry a starfish and eat 4 chocolate bars a day and keep listening to me, you will be the biggest fool on earth" - rena
"AHH! AHH! AHH! i see something. you will wear purple underwear tomorrow" - nadia
"WHAT?! WHAT?! speak up child!" - ruth
"trina to b: you will have two kids. b's friend: OOH WHOS THE HUSBAND?" - trina
and sam the blind one was practically molesting everyones hand. cracks up. my dear partner 2. the last day was killer-ly long though. but yeah.

groans. o levels o levels o levels.
SENIOR PREFECTS HAVE AN IDEAAAAAAAAAa *grins.

much loves.
naddy.

stepping down

2006-07-19T19:02:00.000+08:00

dear diaree,

today was such an emotion driven day. probably my last emcee stint in kc. it was the last board meeting as excos 2006. it started off generally high and there were such sweet little moments when amanda was just being so completely amanda, and sylvia was acting macho and jiajia being lame, and michelle and i went to open the doors for our dearies to come in (we realised that it has almost always been the two of us HAHA) and then when the time came for us to say our last words, wow. haha.

i haven't been able to put in as much time into prefects as i would have liked to. starting off itself was shaky, and add all the other commitments and responsibilities.. i somehow feel i've let the board down in some ways. so many teachers like mrs leong, ms wong, ms soo, ms chai, mdm shanti, mr jega, ms low have really given me so much trust and i'm really ever so grateful.

some things still trouble me in the board, and i do so hope that they can all be resolved before we leave. but i don't regret this. really. well theres a lot of shoutouts to do so i shall start.

shoutouts!
trishala naidu - hahahs. your atmospheric hair. a lot has happened, but i still dont regret my vote at all for you as the head. thanks for always trying to understand my schedule.
richenda - omg woman we piss each other off so bad sometimes. but really it's amazing how i can relate to you and you actually listen when im down. and babe, i NEVER want a different emceeing partner other than you.
sueann - hahahs freaking hardworking. our super secretary! a lot of the juniors REALLY look up to you, and i have a lot of respect for you too.
michelle, siantzu, aretha poh - hahahs this is lumped together not cos you`re less special but because you guys really mean a lot to me as the exco (: thanks for all those spastic moments and serious ones. i KNOW i can trust you guys, and like all those times at the gate retha and st our ultimate favourite spotchecks and michelle as cca leaders. aaaaaahh. i heart you.
tuty and shiew mee - WHEES. despite not talking as much, im glad ive gotten to know you better. shiew mee all our flag/pledge days.. hahah. welll. my most sincere thanks (:

cheryl ng - darling, i trust your capabilities. i must admit i never REALLY knew you till this year. a lot of the councillors believe in you too, and dont ever ever doubt yourself because i've watched you grow and i'm so immensely proud of you
alicia tan - haha well known you mostly thru rena (: and dearie you`re another one who's amazingly talented. i love your leadership skills, and you too must never doubt how talented you truly are. you must keep that smile of yours, okay?
sanam - ahhh drama junior (: taming game moments. you are SO sincere and i love your proffessionalism. make me proud!
soek khern - dearie, keep strong and know that there will always always be people to support you.
priscilla - you handle your dance girls really really well and thank you for making my last emdd and year as a prefect special (:
jia jia - aiyo baby don't be late la. your jokes are seriously ultimate can. haha, well for your infectious laughter and i sincerely trust how responsible you are and how you reach out to the people. i know you wont let us down.
wei zhen - you're another one with such amazing leadership skills. i respect you totally as a cca leader and i love how hard you try.
crystal - i still remember you as the morning patrol duty partner. girl, you HAVE it in you.
andrea - girl you really have the fire. let your passion drive you (: but must also remember our position as leaders hor?
victoria - aretha's girl. haha. i still remember your maturity in that phone convo about the famous five time. you have such amazing determination and that WILL bring you far.

su fern - what you said really, really touched me dear. thank you. and im so proud of how quickly you've stepped up. i trust you (:
sharon, sophie, sherilyn, karishma - thank you. i hope i've done okay as your president (: hahahs. and kimberly, payal and andrea, help boost drama up okay? i KNOW you can!
avelyn - darling, i love you ever so much. promise me you won't give up (: i'm always here for you if you need me.
anne - hope i spelt it right. hahah. you're super amusing can. work hard in council (:
the girl who pinned up her fringe - hahah i know i've said it many times but that little action means a lot. you go girl.
dominique - hey, i hope you surprise us all. excel okay?
heda - hahahs sayang you must make us proud okay. you're an amazing leader.
zakiah - hahahs messy monkey (:

sylvia - hahahs my biaaaat*h. babe, gua cayang lu la. thank you for all those moments in thailand and even now.
michelle - hahah hey even though we dont talk as much now. i still remember all those times we pissed each other off and all those times you've stood by me. (: thank you.
neritta - hahahs you`re suchhhh a dong. but still, after four years, you're still as cheerful as ever.
keshia - man, since pri skool. (:
lizard - who sits behind me (:

ANYONE AND EVERYONE ELSE IN SC : you really never know what you have till it's almost ending. treasure those little random moments cos it's usually those that are most dear. thank you, thank you, thank you - for making this entire journey most memorable for all of us and for me.
and tiffanyny my amazing ex-senior. i still love you.

SKINS! is coming, and i really don't know. im so proud of the progress of charis, kathy, kamani, marco, my dancers and everyone. i hope i myself don't let them down. dear lord, please bless our play! and thanks to everyone who has stood by me. like my amazing wonderful mommy.

naddy (:
friday and saturday are cominggggg!

STUDENT COUNCIL!

2006-07-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

OH OH OH.
and SC results are out.
congrats to the exco!
work hard guys (: we have faith in you.
may you bring KC to greater heights.
with God, the unreachable is never more than just beyond your finger tips

((:

the eve of emdd (:

2006-07-06T22:31:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

hahahs nadia hasnt updated in quite awhile.
tomorrow is the opening night of emdd 2006, collabo btwn sji and kc.
well, a lot of people have been commenting about the show already despite having NEVER seen it. and even though im not performing, i guess i've been through quite a substantial part of it with the cast and some of the other people involved, and i really must say that it's amazing watching it. it really makes me think back to the days of Indelible Ink (emdd 2004). seeing sherrie wear pavi's dress.. hahahs. yeah, really made me remember the days when "anthony" would punch me and how mr j choreographed the whole punching thing and noorlinah cracking up and saying i fight like a girl. and wakerman and natasha and wyreden squeaking and squeaking and gissy as aunty huay and all. yeah. especially the seniors. matilda, cheryl, aliya, juliana as part of the choir and mel, gwen, natasha and ruilin dancing, and of course pavi, shangz, niki, bhav, kam, dazzlyn, even SABRINA miss never-button-collar.. wow. we really came together. this year they have amazing costumes, put this years costumes plus indelible ink's spirit and passion, and you will get an amazing performance.
still, i can vaguely remember those precious moments the night before the show when we all return home tired and a bit nervous. marika and i were just saying how sad it is this year, that during curtain call, the people involved cant turn to each other and heartily hug or clap each other on the back and say congratulations and REALLY mean it. the ts* can be quitee... about the whole collabo thing, so hey, dont complain about the spirit being low if no interaction or well, the barest minimum is allowed in the first place. for old emdds, everyone worked hard, kc really came together. the curtain calls were all heartfelt.
this year is different. but just because it's different, it doesnt make it any less special. so to all SJI guys and of course darling KCians, be you the little choir girls or first time malay dancer or a modern dancer taking on a new style, do your best and make KC proud. i'll be running around backstage. (as usual)
gissy and berlyn, eunice, marika, liza, zia etc all the seniors - hahahs. i love you guys (:

GOOD LUCK PEOPLE, BREAK A LEG ((:

naddy.

empty spaces.

2006-06-22T22:45:00.000+08:00

this is a void;

an empty space
where dreams lie unfulfilled.
its the moment that you
spend all night awake,
just thinking about it,
imagining it with high pixel detail
again and again,
but doesnt happen in the end
cos you screw it up so bad.
the single strand -
thinner than the pasar malam's
cheap dragon beard candy,
that breaks,
cos you weren't loved
like how you wanted to be.
its like waking up
unpretty,
without the voice you needed
to hang on the line
and put down the phone
only after you did.
(not before)
the space frozen in time
where you question
your worth,
if you're skinny enough
or good enough
or the right person
or too demanding
or just plain not-the-one
for your significant other.
you psycho-analyse
yourself,
like a treatment session with Freud.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
but you can never find the answer.
when no one whom you FEEL like
talking to and asking for help
is able t spare you the time
cos they had a bad day
and/or is too tired, too busy, stressed out
(circle where appropriate)
and you jst give monosyllabic answers
cos part of you doesnt care
and the other part is waiting for someone
to do the caring.

this is a void;
voids don't have endings.
some are never filled.

the worst i've felt in so long.

2006-05-20T21:57:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

i never thought being a good daughter would be this hard.
no it isn't easy for me.
but i jst can't lie.
i have such an amazing and sweet mom. really.

midyears is an improvement (: im thinking of trying for DSA.. if possible.tday was young leaders' convention. some speakers were really inspiring. rehearsal was okay too. ytd was filming. i walked barefoot along the esplanade. i felt free. now when i'm sitting at home, nothing else crosses my mind. sighs. i dont know how this is gna turn out. i didnt mean for it t be this way.

you're so lovely and this is so screwed up.
i jst wanted t magically go back t last time.
i guess that's hard for you.
but i jst can't be what you want me t be.
i missed you like hell in thailand.
and we were ever so close.
i don't want you t change.
but then again, that's jst what i want..
the more i say things the more it doesnt turn out right.
i want t bury my face in your shirt yet i dont feel that i should pick up the phone.
and i jst cant do this anymore.

what's wrong with you nadia.

I'll be there till the end
When everything falls down
Will you hold my hand?
ryan cabrera - it's you.

slow music for the confused heart.
ahhh.

stop being so emo nadia. grrr. slaps self.

mid years!

2006-04-28T22:41:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

mid years are coming.
everybody say ARGH.

good luck four seven and da gang.
loves.

naddy.
am i not pretty enough?

ACHOOOO.

2006-04-16T21:09:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

wow i feel like i should be blowing dust off my blog. its been FOREVERRRR.
mid years are coming!
i know, i can hear you cheering too.
my heart is sinking.
hahahahs.
guess what? tmrw is hmt mid years. have we prepared?
three guesses - its the kc clan we're talking about here.

past few weeks have been the same.
shuttling between school, cdc, study sessions with dw and shanker, meeting up with our boy marco and what not.
we have a full final cast (:
i am THAT relieved.

hello cast people. teehee.

to quote dw - we're becoming nerdayyyy.
its like not a day passes without us studying something or another.
dont give us that look marco, we've never been like that before.
ah well, crossing our fingers for mid year. shit we need t study more.

okay, we've been monkeying around and here are some pics. whee.

RAHHHS.

the studious one ABOVE.

we think dewei's normal face is more spastic than his attempted one. HAH! kiddings.

toona is still on her mad math spree. tsk tsk. hahahs. shoutouts.

sharky - RAHHS STUDY STUDY STUDY. hahahahs.
dw - thanks for uploading! WEST SIDE STORY
marco - see you sooon. WEST SIDE STORY
kylee - don't stress, differentiation sucks but practiceeee!
shik - when i think of kylee i think of you. hahahs.
nikhy - hahahs hey man.
toona - OLD MAC DONALD HAD SOME FISH, na-dee-ya & ree-na
steph fong - AARGH AMATH KILLS MAN.

muggers mug.

sore throat ):
love all.

PS - aunty kae gave birth and lucas has a baby bro! OOOHS. (:

OOH LA LA!

2006-03-06T18:13:00.000+08:00

hahahs wazzup ya`ll!

bleaghhh bio ca tmrw ): lols 407 is mugggggging. we got our verification slips today.

SCARY.

ah well. i like mushroom cheese prata (: our vp is leaving ): damn, i really admire her. i think she`s an amazing leader. we'll miss you tons! gillian had a headache in class today. poor gilly. GUESS WAHT MY RIGHT EYE HURTSSSS. its kinda swollen. think its getting better though.

random : i miss you.

going for tuition soon. jst drank milo. lols. i jst realised my blogging dont make much sense. rich mich and i did our lawyer ppt today to the lower sec. other people who went for job attachment presented too. we were the first and we were looking around and like.. everyone had a script except us. we were like. WHOOPS. is that bad? hahahs two teachers said it was fine though (: we jst have t add in like two or three points for tmrw. ho hum. upper sec assembly.

WHEES cant wait to see tutor's nieces! hope they rmbr me ): theyre so cute.
PAN AND RENAAAA let's go thailand grinns
pw is one hot kitty. hahahahahs.

hahahs poem i found online! so cute.
i like dem thugs
those true bad boys
the ones who looks all tough
but wont make me cry
i'll make him my baby
the one who understands
and even when his boys are there, he's like
"wanna hold my hand?"

HAHAHAHS.

loves!
naddy.

RAMBLE RAMBLE!

2006-02-28T21:41:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

MWAHAHAHS. a friendster bulletin board thing :

N : your sex is unforgettable
A : YOU'RE A HOTTIE
D : you have trouble trusting people
I : love is something you deeply believe in
A : YOU'RE A HOTTIE

damn, twice? LOLS.

S : People think you are so sexy
H : You have very good personality and looks
A : YOU'RE A HOTTIE
N : your sex is unforgettable
K : You like to try new things
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting
new people
R: Someone loves you

oh lord i can jst imagine him saying yeap3 hot sexy thats me. HAHAHAHS.

D : You have trouble trusting people
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting
new people
W : You are very broad minded
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting
new people
I : love is something you deeply believe in

lols the I is totally wrong.

M : You are beautiful, and sexy
A : YOU'RE A HOTTIE
R: Someone loves you
C : you're wild and crazy

so is the C. hahahs.

S : People think you are so sexy
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting
R: Someone loves you
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting
N : your sex is unforgettable
A : YOU'RE A HOTTIE

yeah man rena.

okay, ca results are lousy. school is aight. we ran pe tday. interval training. hahahs. sure. lols. rich and i love physic periods grins. studying bio at the moment. mrs chua hasnt been in school. take your time to mark our papers we love you ever so! take care.

yakkity yak we're gna have to conference soon. blahh. OOHS. i love my froggieeee. i think shes darn cute. shankers profile rocks now. hahahs. hey shangz! how ya doing. this blog post is pretty much rambling nonsense right now (:

auditions were aight, we had some AMAZINGGGG singers and a few actresses were aight. disappointed i didnt get my ang moh and my malay and my indian girl. and boy oh boy we still need DANCERS! come for our second audition round okay! i think someone is up to sabo-ing. well i wont sink to your level.

lalalala. waht else. cca leaders we must make sports day FUNFUNFUNFUNFUN! its our last year man ): saddening. oh my lord, i`d better go study bio.

scared to sleep! been re reading da vinci code. i drive rena nuts. hahahs.

LOVING YAHH!
naddy.

random line : ASSSSS... HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE! lols. for st, dewei, marco, shik.

AUDITIONS! (:

2006-02-19T12:05:00.000+08:00

that's the 24th of feb, this friday
singapore post centre level five
from 3 pm onwards
if you`re male female or not sure
COME DOWN ANYWAY!
ages btwn 13 - 19, older/younger may
come try your luck as well (:

PLEASE TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS
cos this is gna be one BIGGGG production

much love, nadia

TGIF.

2006-02-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

TODAY IS A FRIIIIDAYYYYYYY!
friday friday friday.

i dont know why im so happy actually. this is one of my most relaxed weekends. after skool tday, went for math extra class, laughed with rich, did math sums, rushed home, changed, went down t cdc, meeting hahahs fun seeing maisha and suji again esp, hung around with the other twoo and three of us went home as usual.

tomorrow i will go for drama, then i will come home and then i will go for tuition then i will come home and babysit adam (even though he`s like 8 now i still cant help thinking he`s 5 or smth hahahs) cos parents going for someones wedding dinner.

sunday i will go for religious class then me suji and dewei will go give flyers YAY hahahahs ANYONE WNA JOIN US? lols then i dnos come home or waht lor.

see? so relaxed.
no filming, no presentation,
nada zilch.

WHEEEEES! but i have three tests t study for la so.. yea. but still. hahahs. dnos why this morning why i was jumping and singing TODAY IS FRIIIIDAY allover the place. mr jega was like nice to see you bright and cheerful nadia, you`ve been looking rather down this whole week. too true too true. ITS FRIIIIDAY. hahahs.

OMG EVERYONE I GOT A b3 FOR A CLASS CHEM TEST THATS NOT COUNTED FOR CA! but still. YAY. chem is improoooving. THANKS DEWEI. hahahs. man tday was rather fun (: i love marc and dewei. if we dont get married. we will CO HABIT AS BEST FRIENDS.

dewei will be the house fella in the day wearing an apron and cleaning the house. nadia will go work and marc will be the figure head of some company hahahs.
then at 5, nadia will come home and cook dinner. dewei will leave for his DRAG QUEEN NIGHT JOB.
marc will leave office at 6 and we will give dewei his ta paoed dinner while me and marco will watch dewei do his performance.

HAHAHAHAHS!
how fun fun fun.

i am sleeeeep deprived. we were talking about being worn out man. but no cant! we are gna do well yay. hahahs. i love kc teachers. whees. theyre so nice and caring. hahahs. talking to ms tan, ms soo, mr jega and even mdm shanti for that few seconds made my day. i cant imagine being in any other skool. even mrs koh was semi proud of me for my chem hahahahs. i think. lols.

and a la dee da dee da. sometimes we've gta learn to jst not give a poo about things i guess. yeahh.

SHERLI.
we love you SO SO SO SO much.
miss us ):
cos we'll definitely be missing you.
wiggles fingers.
TAKE CARE!

raooooowrs. darling im sorry ive been falling asleep so early nowadays. hahahahahs. grins. i feel abit high and retarded *grins. yay. hahahs. toona! superfluous hahahs cheer up backside.

aight aight im OFF
to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of oz
(:

much love;
naddy

sewangi bunga*

2006-02-15T20:38:00.000+08:00

Kak Hafsah,
with all my love.

like stars;
your lingering memories are resplendent.
they live on in my hearts
keeping me from despair.
through the velvet punctured night
the scent of flowers delay
and stay awhile in the air.
your words on a card come again to me
from a time too long ago
and if I close my eyes
just a little tighter,
I can almost hear your voice again.
I’m sorry for so many things.
Part of me wishes that
I could have had that last chance
to hug you goodbye.
But thinking of it now,
farewell might have been
more than I could bear.
So we’ll part ways now,
but only for awhile.
I could never forget you.

Always and forever,
you are
priceless
cherished
loved.

Between now and then, till i see you again -
I'll be loving you.

Your cousin,
nadia.

shoutouts strike back!

2006-01-26T21:45:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

JOKE OF THE DAY FOR 407 :

JERO JERO/ JELO JELO.
usage : TWO JEELO JEELO TWO. hahahahahs.

random fact : did you know that singapore uses ower head bridge cranes? hahahahs.

too cute!

okay anyway shoutout to my toona (: girl! i hope you`re okay.

chorus for you :
It's been months
And for some reason I just(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger then this(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
neyo/so sick

hahahs. okay. moving on. richenda aka boobs bday is in two hoursishy time. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ASS! (: hahahahs. AND MANDA CHEN TOO! 407 is becoming kinda fun. lols. yay. lessons are still not commentable though. and sec ones this year are.. fascinating. lols. ask siantzu, rena, michelle or whoever. lols.

I HAVENT DONE SHOUTOUTS IN A LONG TIME!

DEWEI! jiayou for script. thanks boy! ((:
MARCO! you owe us haagen daaz, deal? deal.
DARL! hahahs. sucker. shoutouts la. excuse me i said it with an s without an f. MUACKS!
LYN! SO HOT SO HOT *fans face.
PHUAY WEI, SHAWN, RYAN! hahahs. i think we found another three in one package!
JAS! woofyy! heeheehees.

CHATTERJI! cookies cookies cookies *salivating
KATHLEEN! EDDDDDDD. whoops.
GISSY! gossip gossip giggles!
BERLYN, EUNICE! gossip gossip gossip giggles hahahahs.

GILLY! omg you save my life during shit lessons. hahahahs.
TOONA! lols. you save my life all the time la.
PAN! my sap my pen rai!
LIZZIE! kiss cheek kiss cheek! hahahs. you know that day in the canteen i heard two sec ones gasp and go lesbian! hahahs. weird.
RUTH! COME BACK.

START SOME DRAMA, YOU NO WANT NO DRAMA! sorry. listening to my humps.

NIKEEEE! saw you tday!
BHAVNA! i love you i love you girl.
PAVI! i missssssss you!
KAM! AND YOU.
DAZZ! and you.
SHANGZ! thanks for the notes! hey mr bodyguard of hers!

okiepokes. tmrw is cny celebrations. hahahs. yea man yea man.

SEE YA`LL BRIGHT AND EARLY PREFECTS! happy waking up. lols.

LOVES!

2006-01-20T20:38:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

i am drop dead tired.
jst got back around 7.45 from the scgs invest. which was amazing by the way (: congrats girls.
am currently missing the exco meeting at rich's hse.
sighs. sorry. wish i was there.
anyhoos. skool has been like a blur.
abit stressy already but think we`re all doing pretty okay.
rena and i were at tp's open house ytd. if i do go, i`d wna do htm in the business skool. so cool. rena jst wants t do business. lols. ahneh wants t do htm too. saw a gajillion people there, dewei saw tania and ling, we saw hariyani, jesselene, paveena and met da huang. MEL RMBR HIM? hahahs. yea okay.
JC OR POLY JC OR POLY JC OR POLY.
rena and i said that if we get thirteen and above we`ll go poly?
hahahs.
its funny how we`re supposed to be one big family.
ah well. nothing's perfect.
so then dewei and i cabbed down t cdc rush meetg with ranjeet.
BUY TEENAGE NEXT MONTH EVERYONE (:

hokaypokays.
cows go moo.
love ya darl!

nads.

his birthday tmrw! ((:

2006-01-10T22:50:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

POO! skool has been going on and on and on and sec 4 is like FLYING BY LA. hahahs. its been aight so far. HAPPY BELATED TO ST my fpe! and HAPPY EARLY BDAY to YOUUUUUUUUUU ((: yay. tday was fun. most of da gang, before tt was marcos house. hahahs. i love the three of us. and you more!

someone is being a bastard, but its aight cos your opinion doesnt matter.
dear ms devi; we love you ever so and our prayers are all for you.
trigo graphs-im getting the hang of it!
MORGAN AND ALDEN's PROJECTS! support them people (: tag for details.
wna be part of a grandscale theatre production? duh! tag me! (:
rena rocks my socks la!
ruth is my egeog/lit partner ((:

pictures PEOPLE!

oohs. plus da gang`s neos!

amazing friends.

candlelight&soul.forever/
YAY. happy birthday you.
stay good.

try and enjoy skool everyone.
HAPPY HARI RAYA HAJI!

muackmuacks.
nads.

happy new year yay yay

2006-01-01T14:48:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

sheesh. im doing holiday homework. shuddup. i know alot of you are guilty as well.
yesterday was pretty fun. the waking up early part wasnt. marmie dear isnt feeling very well so marco and dewei couldnt come over. we went to marco's house to rehearse instead. and man, if i may say so myself, we came up with a pretty decent skit in that two hours plus. hahahs. then we changed into our all black and cabbed over to rouge.
they didnt open the club for us t set up early, so we hung around chatting and calling up more people. i spent my time transferring ainsley's script t cue cards -.-" yes, you do owe me. hahahs. we set up, rehearsed a few more times, painted people's faces, scarfed down a nugget or two, then began welcoming people.
whees. the turnout wasnt as expected, but it was still mega fun. hahahs. good on shaohwee, han, lyn, brenda, ainsley, james, marco and everyone else who made it a success. it was amazing as most of da gang was reunited for those few hours and dearestest mwen bought us all lightstick bracelets! thanks girl (: we danced our butts off and DAMN (without the A) productions pulled off the skit without a hitch. YAY!
and ranjeet and ian tan likes it.
ooh lala.
perfection.
we went t plaza sing bk (WHERE ELSE?!) for dinner hahahs and as usual they made the usual comments about me and my love for cows. darl was barbaric as usual and ate cow ): hahahs. yeaap3. so fun. it was alfred, marco, rishik, pravin (new friend, HELLO!), yings, michee, dewei, debbie, mwen, marcus, sharky and i. yeaaa.
left early with sharky and marcus.
came home (:

and now, i repeat, am not so happily doing hol homework. hahahs.

loving you!
nads.

moodswinging madly.

2005-12-29T22:57:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

best friends.

ugh. my mood is like THIS bad. seriously.
argh stop talking please.
okay. im in a bad mood. im sorry.
i need you.
argh.
eesh.
so annoying.
i hate my mood.

all these days and all these nights.

stickwitu,
nadia.

narnia rocks!

2005-12-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

HELLO!
i watched narnia tday.
damn its good! go watch it everyone. really. its so by the book and the parts were amazingly developed. hahahs. i rate it hmms. four? yea. more satisfying than potter the fourth one. whees. so it was me sharky marco dewei shik and a new friend, dom! hello. hahahs. yea.
I MET MORE PEOPLE THAN SHARKY TDAY AGAIN YAY.
hahahs. i rock.
hello rena and zhen and zara. lalalala.
god i feel like slapping two people.
1)dont order me around like that. its not like i shoved my way into helping out okay. if you dont like it, complain to someone else. i DO have a life.
2) why is it becoming like this? sighs. miss the old you.
and god i love two people.
1) THANK YOU FOR UPLOADING THE PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICS!
2) hahahs. and you! i like watching movies with you. hahahs. second is waiting for the lift. and third is almost everything else. hahahahs.

i WILL be positive.
yes i will. ho hum busy day tmrw.
reminder to self : BUY HMT TXTBKS!

lols. here are some pictures.

nads. oh thats me.

the royal bitch (:

the monkey golfer (:

cookie monster is cuter than elmo! (:

yours truly,
truly nadia (:

in streets.

2005-12-24T13:51:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
loves of my life at this moment-

marmie - marmie dearest, you`ve been ever so sweet. i love you many!
marco - boy, you`re really busy with your life now. the three of us are always gna be tgthr though, right? theatre production! -dies. anyhoos. we`re going over late. hahahs. seeyou.
dewei - ahh you`ve helped me out so many times in so many ways. i really owe you aloot. happy xmas cards writing friend!
sharky - hahahs. you`re an absolute doll. thank you for all those times you sent me all the way home then went all the way back, and walking around aimlessly in town and all the other bullshit. mms (:
chester(my cat) - meowwww. baby! your fur has been my tissue many a time. i love you sitting on my carpet and my bed and you running around like mad. hahahs.
rena - hahahs. i would have died in thailand without you.

in streets,
people push and shove.
in streets,
boys and men leer
tripping over themselves
for a glimpse of cleavage.
in streets,
couples kiss
hand in hand
oh so in love.
in streets,
an old lady sells tissue
he buys them
cos he understands her pain.
in streets,
you notice her beauty.
in streets,
thousands pass you by
without a second glance
cos you dont mean a shit to them.
in streets,
one day,
i met you (:
in streets,
i cant imagine
life without
my loves.

jeans and green.
merry xmas eve!
nads.

him?

2005-12-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

thailand was amazing,
im writing a prose bout it. shall post it when im done. i miss the kids. and number ten. glad to be back. loads of things happening. towning every day. bleagh.
homework needs t be done man.
merry eve of xmas eve.

we wore black (:

you think im pretty
i love your hands on my hair
we hang out almost all the time
wherever, whenever.
you hate me restricting you
i couldnt care more
sometimes we dont speak
holding hands is enough.
im not the first girl you've liked
you're not the only one chasing
you like it messy
i roll my eyes at your shirts
let the people stare
we're too crazy for them to understand
i just want to move closer
that 2 cm is a helluva lot of space.

maybe?
no shit.

you know you want me.
chester wants me to put him to bed.
here kitty kitty.
loves.

northern thailand trip is comingg (:

2005-11-28T22:56:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
wah poo long time no blog. hahahs. the sec 4 and 5 grad was on friday. it was extremely cool. started off emceeing i think abit rocky but by lunch rich and i were working our thaaang. lols. yea. it was cool. it was EXTREMELY sad too. im going to miss the honeys from 501 like, alot. hahahs. becky clara jac alicia jy val sm dp eunice mich and aloooot more. man. yeaa. the prefects did good. whees. lols. we kapo-ed so much nut cake. damn nice right st? LOLS. yeaa. then after that we rusheeed ta skool to meet THE MELBOURNE GIRLS!
hahahs. penny is like extremely fun. lols. yeaa. and shes taller than ME. so the three days with her were like whoaa rush here rush there. hahahs. but fun. SHOUTOUT T ALL THE MLC GIRLS! (: hope ya`ll are having fun in london.

yeaa. then straight after sending pen t the hotel on sunday went down t muhammadiyah home for the cdc event. i felt really privilieged and gg there seriously opened my eyes. farid my man, you take care bro. yeaa. then we went t swensens aprkway t eat. lyn dewei han shao hwee marcus and i. yeaap3. hahahahs. marcus` currypuff. yeap3. then shao hwee and marcus came over t watch 50 first dates. shao hwee so cute. fell asleep. hahahs. small boy ((: but taller than me eee. lols. yeaa. then went t makutehs house with my family.

and tday was another day. lols. damn funny.

well actually. damn painful. went over t marco`s house. dewei went too. yea. i started cramping really really really bad. seriously. i was like giddy and i wanted t puke and i broke out in cold sweat. horrible. and extremely weird. so they cabbed me home. rested for bout an hour. felt better. so we had a mummy daddy nanny day out. LOLS. we brought bryan [marcos bro] plus adam t swensens. hahahahs. yeaa. two of my best friends in the world (: then went for tuition.

TMRW! i need to buy stuff for thailand in the morning. aaaah. yea. then will be gg down t cdc for awhile. i swear i need t practice my thai. lols. ranjeet shall help me PLEASE! lols. yea. then gg t meet my aunt before sh eleaves for kl. then meetg the gang. AT NIGHT WE ARE GG T WATCH A TWIST OF FATE! *screams* thank you dewei. hahahs. lols. so exciting.

well my bags are packed but my heart is still here. dont knw if im ready to leave. shall be gone for 17 days. northern thailand, Mae Hong Soon. a village in the mountains. the Karen tribe. yeap3. teaching english gg with 9 other people from skool plus ms low and lao shi (: i`ll be missing everyonee. really. my miss list, jst in case i dont get a chance t blog before i leave on wednesday. gta be at the airport by 2 plus. yeap3.

miss list.
marco. ahhh. "boyfriend". tday was fun. im going to miss your bullshit ever so.
dewei. lols. partner. dont bitch t marco too much. or on second thought, do. hahahs.
nikhy. hahahs. you`re third. lols. see? hahahs. best friend. i knw times are rough. but you`ve always always been there for me. and i`ll miss you tall guy. (: take care yea.
sharky. please, please, please, be good. hahahs. yea. -huggs.
jas. how IS your eye! lols. -huggs.
mwen, dora, rishik, selv, kylee, yings, ow, mao - if you`re coming i`ll see ya`ll tmrw. hahahs. if not. be taking care okay! miss you guys (:
mich. girl. be good. love you.
rich. heyyy. -huggs. you`ll make it thru.
st. girll you`re soooo sweet. EXCOS. good luck for the camp! (: juniors seniors and trainees. HAVE FUN. i`ll be thinking of you guys.
avery. hahahs. thanks for the invite. i`ll take it up some time. take care, yea?
lyn, tania. ya`ll have been working hard babes. lols. i`ll miss your psychoticness ((:
brenda. sweetie!
morgan. lols. gross la you. take care hor.
marcus. hey you (: you`ve been really sweet lately. good luck for your performance, and your trip. we`re coming back on the same day. hahahs. see you, yea? be good. -huggs.
alden. hahahs. boyboy.
tiffanyny. i cant believe you`ve graduated. thinking bout it makes me cry. hahahs. you wont read this, but girl i love you so so much. thanks for being such a great friend, sister, senior, mentor.
mandaho. thanks for the vcds girl.
all the cdc people. hahahs. will miss seeing your faces for the next 17 days. be good dont drive boss nuts. lols.

for everyone else who`s been there for me. i only have love for you. thank you guys

northern thailand people - here we come (: let`s pray and look out for each other on this trip. rena dear hope you`re back safe from hk. we`re staying tgthr! jy we`re so excited (: and natasha sylvia vivien nicole charlene janelle pan ms low and ms teh. let`s go do waht we set out here t do.

jst me (:
nads.

nananana.dia.

2005-11-22T22:42:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

ladies and gentlemen,
do not slow down.
there is no time for walking,
everything must be rushed.
do not, i repeat do not,
stop and smell the roses.
brisk walk.
running is encourages,
unless you're in heels.
certain ladylike traditions still apply,
but you still must be fast.
you there - why are your heels over three inches?
and you on the other side - your earrings aren't supposed to be bright pink.
rule nineteen hundred and twenty three
of the boring-mid-life-stress-yourself-out handbook
dictates that ONLY black and white
and certain shades of grey are allowed.
what?
do you think the workplace is some kind of
PLAYGROUND?!
wrong, fool!
listen good,
everyone of you are slaves to the system
every heinous crime you do
slices twenty four hours of leave
one more off day gone, byebye.
no paycheck.
and dont even think of being a radical.
rebels have harsher punishments.
and yes, that is possible.

tday was fun. hahahahahs. sorry so contrast to my blog. lols. wrote that at bedok inter again. sms poem. amazing bedok inter. so much inspiration. voice over tmrw. dumdeedum. harry potter with dearies. loves everyone!

nads.

`here we are so waht you gna do? come on baby jst make your move (:

more quizzies ((:

2005-11-19T23:21:00.000+08:00

i like quizzes.
yes i do ((:

what do guys like about you?
You're the girl most guys can't get out of their headsEven if they met you on a bad hair day :-)You just seem to "click" with everyone you meetSo even if a guy forgets about you for a second... his friends haven't!

how do men see you?
Men want a challenge and you are the perfect playmateYou know how to push men's buttons and attract a wide range of guysYou enjoy living and loving - it's one of your most attractive qualitiesMen are often consumed with desire for you, and you love that!

is he more than a hookup?
But you're not really sure what you want him to be.Sometimes you have fairly serious feelings for him.If you think there could be more, than go for it.(Just make sure he wants something more too!)

bleagh.
so tired.
thinking bout the last one.
hahs.
nadddddy.

YAYYY. holiday essence!

2005-11-19T17:56:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
three days of super fun! hahahs. wednesday last minute we had a videoshoot for cdc. yeaa. we went around the south east area. whoa. was damn tiring too. super marketing can! we were at the library then i had to wear a baju kurung and pretend to select a book and read.
piang!
lols. but after that was fun ah. last stop was chomp chomp [pretend to be savouring satay]. yeaa. by then was really tired alrdy. actually i only remember one thing that happened twice that day. hahahs. siighs. dont knw why im actually thinking about it in the first place. i mean.. yeaa. dnos la. okay anyhoos.
then next day i went ta skool for prefects and we planned something YAY hahahahs so lame man but im glad in the end everyone finally got the steps though i think we`ll do alot of refreshing on tuesday. yea then rich came over and we bathed then went shopping!!! hahahs. so fun trying on clothes with her man. right babe? yay. i love green mann. then after that met retha poh and her nice friend for awhile. omg so funny at the wisma's edc. HAHAHAHAHS. like, oh my god. sniggers. how himbotic. cough. yeaa. then marcus came and we walked around. tried to find justin's shop but couldnt find. yeaa. then went home. third time happened. my brain doesnt function on much else.
then on friday wow ended up towning again. hahahs. this time was with dewei and sharky first then met avery after his job interview. it was hilarious. half the time sharky was messying my hair then the two baboons were pulling down each others pants. hahahahahs. they look so gorgeous with glittery make up. oohs and they smelled pretty too. grinns. dewei thinks we`re all mad but its all cool. yeaa. sebenarnya, ku ingin jumpanya dan dengar degupan hatinya lagi.. rasakan dadanya ketika dia memelukku. tapi, sighs, hari tu tidak menjadi.
yeaa. tday on the other hand i nearly died from boreded-out-of-my-brains syndrome. we went for a malay seminar. EEPS. i mean it was cool and all but wow like four lectures in a row.. the only interesting thing was a couple playing footsie! HAHAHAHAHS. and they looked so quiet and guai-ish. LOLS. ria and i were laughing privately till we nearly died. hahahahs. yea. wah. sian. lols. everyone was in like baju raye kind. yeaa. then went down to cdc jst for lunch and yea pretty stinky but wahtever then went for tuition which was like SO FREAKING LONG. right? rena and liz and i were like. wilting. lols. differentiation.. -piangs. yeaa. hahahs.
tmrw is gna be fun fun fun fun! and work work work work ((: I SO NEED TO DO SKOOL HWK SOON. tmrw is like, religious class then come home change and gna meet for lunch THANKS RANJEET BTW (: then we gg over to ecp. they staying in chalet ): i cannot. poo. yea anyhoos then woots we planned alrdy. fun fun fun fun. im so blessed.

do you?
nads.

i`ll fall asleep on you every second if i could (:

sweetheart (: i cant deny thee!

2005-11-15T22:53:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
i like being manja-ed.
lols.
tday was damn fun. rich and i went to look for dresses at parkway. dying la we need for the EOY thingg. yeaa. AND WE BOUGHT HEELS! so sexy cant stand it. hahahs. thanks girl!
yeaaa. hmms. someone is being so sweet tday HOR. wah. youngsters nowadays, tsk tsk. so young knw how to flatter alrdy -grinns.

Romeo & Juliet PART II.

`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
eeyer must do nice things then get one ah
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
wahhhh
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
like that la now someone -grinns
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
eh wat nonsense sial u wan anythin i also will do for u lor
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
lols
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
say again minus the bad word cannnn ((:
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
what untrue things u utter. Thy will do anything for sake of you my beautiful breath taking young lady with nothing to ask for in return as i offer my life to you ...
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
hahahahs
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
oh ****** -batters eyelashes
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
hahahahahahahs
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
i am just stating what the fact of what i truely feel from the bottom of my heart
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
grinns
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
i bet you say that to all the girls
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
my heart will only be faithful to the one and only which is the one i am currently expressing my thoughts to right now
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
lols
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
you already know wat my answer would be
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
)): is that a no?
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
no ? that word shall never be said for as long as that question is asked
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
lols
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
you should definitely take lit.
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
is it ?
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
yeaap3
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
alrite cool
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
am i romantic or wat !
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
lols
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
wah like totally!
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
next time you find a girlfriend, must pass thru my approval first mannnn see if shes good enough for you.
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
a girlfriend ? nxet time ? why do i need to look for one when i already have eyes for you ?
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
lols such a sweetheart!
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
sweetheart ? u are in no position to praise yourself let me have the hounor sweetheart.
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
hahahs. i was praising you la dear.
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
hahahas
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
i know and that is why i cant accept that kind of praise when the lady who divulges that word is a thousand times more of a sweetheart than i am...
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
hahahas
`[naddy] -if you cant get someone out of your head..maybe theyre meant to be there. /was says:
aww
okay thats it, too sweet alrdy im so postingt on my blogl
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
sweet ? nothing can be any sweeter than the look on your captivating eyes which will light up any person's life...
damn that was one great show... but now its all over ... haiz says:
in my eyes you are the only person that has reach perfection.

wah, be still my heart!
lols. you should oh so definitely take lit boy.

okay anyhoos. yeaa. shoutouts!
sharky - brother! totally. always and always.
avery - boy, theres a star out there for you somewhere (:
nikhy - heyoos
marco - hahahs we so piss dewei off man. bad.
rich - WHEEEEEEES!
st & retha poh - ahhhh im ticklish dont lehh!
KUMAR - see wah your name big big. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADVANCEEEEEE. jambu la kau.

((:
decidedly better mood.
let`s pretend you`re mine.
naaaaaads/

aspiration camp (:

2005-11-14T09:39:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
aspiration camp - 3 days of new people, enthusiasm, yelling, laugther and a whole cacophony of other things. it was pretty amazing, and we managed to source out a few talented individuals with potentials to mve into the organising section of y2y. hahahs. that all sounds very technical ey? no la. but it was really sweet. and min is psychotic. yes. watching her laugh is hilarious and you jst wna laugh too. FLY! hahahs. alot of nice new people, so check my hi list. hahahs. loads of pictures as well.

http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/queenadia22/album?.dir=/dd08&.src=ph&.tok=phiMp7DBNS2oFfFJ

i think thats the link. yay people. lols. i`ll be seeing a few of you around. lets all meet up sometime. aspiration rocks.

okay. to be honest. i cant blog that excitedly about aspiration when the only thing that keeps playing in my head is waht happened at its end. im not thinking about anything else. and that sucks. sighs. bukan yang i benci dia, tetapi, hatiku rasa bagai dipecah seribu apabila dia memberitahu i apa kesalahannya. sedih. sungguh sedia. kecewa.

ive been alone for a long time
and after god knows how many days
and that one night
my stupid brain
or maybe it was my stupid heart
thought maybe
jst maybe
i had found something.
special.
yea.
special.
and i guess it was wrong
to assume
and dream that maybe
jst maybe
it was something
more than a feeling.
so i let my foolish heart
take flight
soaring among the stars
and thoughts of you
hoping and wishing
and dreaming
that maybe
jst maybe
after all my god knows how many
lonely days and that one night,
i wouldnt have to be alone anymore.
but damn.
it was wrong
to dream.

air mata setia mengalir.
nadia.

hi list
hi jasmine - prettyyyyy
hi lisa
hi dash - if you need to kiss it..
hi farah - KISS IT!
hi safith - i like your jacket
hi avery - thank you. dream big boy! (:
hi kenneth - ahoyyyy maties.
hi lynn - she wants to be a swimmer. HAHS
hi lyn
hi kumar - yo!
hi taryn - ((:
hi yi chung - soo cuuuute.
hi ben - oh my god ben, you`re such a. hahahs
hi kristy
hi ikram
hi wilson - BOO!
hi shawn
hi phuay wei - yar lar i know you joking lar. hahahs
hi shao-lung
hi tania - YAYYY. dance dance dance.
hi jayshree
hi andre
hi alden - boy boy (:
hi dewei - oh my god you screamed alot mannn. hahahahs. see you later.
hi jas - thank you (:
hi sharky - much lovee.
hi mumtash - hahahahs damn funny can.
hi ryan - your sleeping picture!
hi suji - dance girl dance!
hi amirul - happy belated bday!
hi gissy - i is to be missing you
hi amanda.jr - thanks girl, im glad you tried your best.
hi nikhil - its okay. i`ll get over it. love you too.

-theres no way i could ever hate you.

camat hari raye!

2005-11-06T21:30:00.000+08:00

dear diaree ((:

another hari raya
of love, colours.
but among none of the many
thousands of bottles of kueh
did i see your face.
nor did i hear your
maaf zahir dan batin
while having butt cramps
in the back of a honda
on the edge of the car seat
[and there is alot to be 'maaf-ed'.]
every year, i meet new family.
but this time
after waiting 365.25 x 24 hours,
and hearing the adzhan call
you stayed home.
i missed seeing you.
no matter how little
of the same blood we share.
no matter you keep me waiting
and hanging onto emails
from eons ago -
i could never hate you.
by name, we are family.
in terms of relationship,
we seem to be anything but.

nonetheless, brother,
selamat hari raya, amir.
in the meantime, there`s adam ((:

my dear friends - if anything ever said has hurt you i hope you forgive meee. hahahs. NOW. something exciting for you!
JENG JENG JENG JENGGGGGG.

hey! calling all potential enthusiastic leaders (: youths between the ages of 13 and 18 - if YOU, yes YOU, and your friends want to be featured in short films, get first priority on modelling opportunities, work with fun people from all walks of life [LIKE US, hahahs KIDDING], and work your way up to become organisers of YOUR own shows THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!start off by joining us for ASPIRATION CAMP 2005 - PART II. a three day non-residential fully sponsored fully catered fully enjoyable fully full of new and exciting youths like yourselves. YAY! it will be held at SMU and SECDC from the 10th - 12th of November.interested people [AND IM SURE YOU`RE INTERESTED ((: ] PLEEEEEASE contact us ASAP thru a friendster message or email me at queenadia22@yahoo.com.sg OR sybarited@gmail.com or jst tag this blog by Wednesday before 12 noon.[friendster messaging is prefered] YAY!so exciting. seeyou there!!
much love,
Marc & Nadia & Dewei
Youth Volunteers, SECDC

DEAR PENNY!
i am THIS excited to meet you
yes yes yes i am
((((:

gna go do cdc stuff tmrw. fun fun fun. yay. tuition isnt though )): pfft.

all the people taking their o`s. good luck darlings! especially da gang. you can do it guys. YEAA. i knw how HARD you all HAVE been studying -smiles sweetly. gags. hahahs.
jiayou
the guys
my sec 5 sweethearts (:
tiffany, steph sim, liz seah, aiya. all the smart ones la. hahahahs.
AND ALL THE REST!

okay damn excited. penny penny penny. i sound lesbo. heck.
gg skool tmrw!
lovees,
nads.

my love affair with sunrises.

2005-11-01T14:40:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

you scream at me,
something incomprehensibly hurtful.
you could have whispered it
and it would have hurt me all the same.
the look in your eyes
is like a hundred regrets that i
can never go back and undo.
all the while you beat me down.
your coldness is unforgiving.
it makes me wonder what
my fifteen year old self
could have ever done so wrong.
loving you is like trying
to piece a hundred piece jigsaw together,
with only ninety-three parts to fix
and seven parts lost somewhere.
loving you is incomplete.

but when tomorrow calls,
with a brighter, lighter sunrise -
i will fall again for you.

----------------------------------------------

every day that comes and goes
loses a little big more life
than the day before.
and every second that passes makes it
more difficult to remember
those yesterdays with you.
it's like an unbridgeable gap
that has expanded without us ever realising.
a silent enemy.
unknowing to my heart,
you've crept away.
you almost escaped too,
until i caught sight of the last
fleeting glimpse of your retreating shadow.
i miss you already.
how two people who used to share everything
can now be on opposite ends of this life
with their back facing each other
and not regret
is something i cannot understand.
and if this is the way it's meant to be
than i would rather it not even be at all.
watching the moon and hearing
you sing my sweet lullaby is a thing of the
past.
so is smiling at the sound of your voice.

even if it takes a thousand eternities,
i'll be waiting for that star
that's gonna bring you back to me.

todays weather is amazingly gorgeous. happy birthday toona (: hahahs. and wakerman. whees. darling wakerman. wahh. didnt do much tday. woke up, and i finally cleared the humongous stack of papers off my table. lols. i have an obsession with sunrises. this one is gorgeous ey? lols. happy deepavali! hahahs. sharky! lols. and nikhy! whees. and alot of others too. oohs. yeaa. much loves.

overdue entry (:

2005-10-31T23:27:00.000+08:00

loved that night.
dear diaree.
OOHS. fashion fiesta was bloody fun. i think the journey to the actual night was amazing. made SO many new friends. the concern for each other was amazing and so many people made it happen. thank you everyone who came down! there's prolly gna be something else as exciting coming up and we hope we have your continuous support -grinnnnnns. much love to you guys.
after that came the photo shoot which the comm members had a blast poking fun at each other as usual and joking and our usual bullshit. and the after party a few days ago. and a few unpleasant things in between.
such as report book. hahahahs. no la. im not too disappointed with my results. dewei and i got the same. lols. jst wna buck up for amath emath and chem. may drop phys next year. or combine with chem. hmms. dnos? lols.
watched flightplan tday. then ahd dinner with rena caiming and liz. then tuition.
oohs. malay o`s tday. bleagh? lols. no la. better than prelims. hopefully! yesyes.
WE HAD OUR FIRST PREFECTS MEETING! i dnos. i feel more connected with the juniors after that. and i realised how immensely proud i am of some of them. the things they said that meeting.. hmms. wow. they have something in them. our juniors (: the trainees.. now that would be another story altgthr. still to early to judge. yeaap3. im sad that i`ll be missing prefects camp tho. i`ll be in northern thailand. i`ll be praying that yoo guys are having a blast. im sure ya`ll will be though.
well nothing much else to add i guess. time and time again and your words never cease to kill my heart. sighs. oh well. shall not think. long list.

marco - golfer! hahahs. loves boyfriend.
dewei - thanks i WILL pay OKAY!
yings - heys dnos wahts gg on but hope everything is aight with you.
kylee - nauseating? lols. cant wait till its my turn. *rolleyes.
rishik - you can i-owe-me i dont mind. HAHAHS.
mao - get well soon!
ow - raowrs. talk to ya soon.
sharky - my temporary bad boy. hahahs. stay faithful tskkkkkk.
jon - hahahs sweet la. basket only tau.
dean - BDAYYYYYS.
mwen - theres always that one person that will always have your heart.
suji - we rock.
st - GO HYPER.
mel - im praying. love you so.
william - hahahs yes nice seeing you again i knw gorgeous even minus heels HAHAHS.
rena - HAPPY BIRHDAY TOONA.
lizzie - thanks for the pads. hahahahs.
caiming - yes i wave damn happy. LOLS.
dora - too hot.
kumar - hotter. HAHAHAHS.
timothy - muscleman!
michee - hahahahahs. see you on wed. pfft.
rich - NOOOO not nine o clock -covers face.
andrea - im proud of you junior. ever so (:
jiajia - and you too. calm down! hahahs
kathleen - do the board pretty aiiight!
nikhil - hahahs. all the late night talks. sinderella says hi to your cow.
ranjeet - HAPPY DEEPAVALI EVE. priceless. hahahahs.
morgan - chops frantically.
marcus - be good boy!
alden - BOY BOY.
hana - MISS YOU GIRL!
omar - assalamualaikum (:
maisha - i love you!
sherli - AND YOU!
wakerman - yes yoo`re a darling too HAHAHS.
fad - girl wa cayang lu la minah. hahahahs.
amirul - cheer ups!

yawns. okay. everyones commenting im up late. HAHS. i shall sleep now. LOLS.

still me.
nads.

the way you make me feel.

2005-10-16T22:30:00.000+08:00

So I'm a little left of center
I'm a little out of tune
Some say I'm paranormal
So I just bend their spoon
Who wants to be ordinary
In a crazy, mixed-up world
I don't care what they're sayin'
As long as I'm your girl
Hey, you are on my side
And they, they just roll their eyes
You get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
Yeah, you get me
So what if I see the sunshine
In the pouring rain
Some people think I'm crazy
But you say it's okay
You've seen my secret garden
Where all of my flowers grow
In my imagination
Anything goes
I, I am all you want
They, they just read me wrong
You get me
When nobody understands
You come and hold my hand, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
Still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
'Cause you get me
Hey, you are on my side
They, they just roll their eyes
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause you get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
When none of the pieces fit
You make sense of it
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still I want you all the time
Yeah, I do
'Cause you get me

nadia.

FUN DAYS (: no more exams YIPEE!

2005-10-15T22:20:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
i SO wanted to bring my camera tday. okays. tday and ytday were amazingly fun days la. shall blog.

friday
EXAMS OVER! whoopeeeee. hahahahs. scared for results. so i came home and like ironed my baju kurung packed all, waited for marco and dewei to end skool COS I ENDED EARLIER hahahs yea then we headed to cdc. did some admin stuff for sfw.. yadda yadda. then had to prepare for the interview. oh my. i was like panicking. practiced with a nicee lady malay and my malay was damn pelat. lols. so then changed and all.. had the rest laugh at me "cikgu nadia" lols. then make up all then went down to mediacorp in uncle sallim`s car with nauveed, ranjeet, carla, nicolette, hana and morgan. HANA IS FOURTEEN AND SHES LIKE MY HEIGHT. wow. yea. then we had rehearsal which was damn funny cos ranjeet was worried about his supposedly koyak malay which was like fine la! hahahs. yea. then the real thing. oh my. lols. so weird. but yea. hahahs. thanks for the msgs! lols. justin and alden came too. lols. yeaa. then sent us to eunos mrt.. hana went to take mrt, morgan and i waited for parents. yawns.

tday!
hahahahs. damn fun. i woke up around 8 ish then lazed around msging mao and marco. until like 9 plus then i was like crap must go bathe. lols. so thennnn met da guys went to vj open house wow the atmospehre was funky (: yea. hahahs. i liked the tsd. i want to do tsd ): hopefully i`ll get the chance! it seems amazing. go marco! lols. then we went to sajc open house for awhile. their dance was nice. yea. but i dnos. i guess every skool has a different culture (: yeap3. then marco, rishik, dewei, mao and i took mrt down. spooky! yea. their pract is coming so enjoyed their last few days SOBS. lols. [ST - im REALLY sorry yeaa? hope ya`ll had fun.] yeaa. the skeleton key. newsflash : MARCO IS MORE CHICKEN THAN I AM. cough cough. and thats saying something. yeaa. then met zar and bb [sorry grrl, yoo`ll always be bb to meee hahahahs] okay okay. met zar and NAT. yea. then suyee and melia. then celest. so we walked abit then went to eat dinner once i could break fast. hahahs. yeaaa. then walked with suyee and melia to cine, bought nice drink. then took bus home. whoa. was damn tired by then ah. around 8 plus and wholee day walk around fasting = tiring!

okaypokes. im dead tired.

list :
marco = CHICKEN! hahahahahahs. tsd (: follow your heart!
mao - grinns. you get me - michelle branch.
rishik - SO WAHT IF IM CHICKEN! hahahahs
dewei - LALALA (:
alfred - OOHS.
dom - its a cina piang skool.
zara - YAYNESS.
melia - free and easy. coughhhh.
suyee - wahhhh someone ah...
nat [bb] - SOO CUUUUTE. my shoes rock.
celest - SCREAMS.
st - im sorry!
trish - im sorry!
retha - im sorry!
ranjeet - thank you (:
nauveed - your tie! *slaps head. hahahs.
omar : nadia mane ni? lols. cheer up (:
james - you arh...
yings - crazy one..
gissy - crazy two..
berlyn - crazy three..
hariyani - TERIMA KASIH. hahahahs.
kylee - raowrs. wahtchoo carving?
matty - shuddup la. hahahs.
jason - SAME FOR YOU hahahs.
ow - ooh someone sniffy nose. go sleep.
nikhy - heys, its okay boy.

nananana.
excitingness.
liking.

nads.

emath paper tmrwwwwwwwwwww. WHEES.

2005-10-13T13:40:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

like we never loved at all, faith hill :

You never looked so good as you did last night,
underneath the city lights,
there walking with your friend,
laughing at the moon.
I swear you looked right through me.
But I’m still living with your goodbye,
and you’re just going on with your life.
How can you just walk on by
without one tear in your eye?
Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that’s just your way of dealing with the pain,
forgetting everything between our rise and fall
like we never loved at all.
You, I hear you’re doing fine.
Seems like you’re doing well as far as I can tell.
Time is leaving us behind, (time – leaving us behind)
another week has passed and still I haven’t laughed yet.
So tell me, what your secret is (I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)
to letting go, letting go like you did, like you did.
How can you just walk on by
without one tear in your eye?
Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that’s just your way of dealing with the pain,
forgetting everything between our rise and fall
like we never loved at all.
Did you forget the magic?
Did you forget the passion?
Oh, and did you ever miss me, and long to kiss me?
Oh baby, baby.
Maybe that’s just your way of dealing with the pain,
forgetting everything between our rise and fall
like we never loved at all.

beautiful. anyhoos. phys paper was bloody tough. i think it was the hardest paper for me. then like amath and chem. lit i cant predict. bio also shaky. man. dies. siighs. tmrw last paper. now THATS smth to smile about. hahahahs. the other thing to smile about is not a waht but a who and maybe thats you (: lols.
this is becoming a routine. third day. maybe final one. im gg mpl.
AGAIN.
prolly see dnos how many thousand juniors.
AGAIN.
lols. funny. usual people. mao, ow, rishik, mich. i think yings is gg down cdc to help marco. marco. waht stick ah? lols. bum so loser. okaypokays. the pigs are gna eat then meet me. wahh. so ego. lols. damn lame sia. and ow and mao its all your faults tt im saying tt. anyhoos. lets read seventeen again ow. how b*tchy. lols. tmrw last day of exams.
YES! siantzu! YES.
hahahahs. walau so bloody lame.
cina piang marc.
yings did you remember to bring your calculator?
tiffanynyyyy
JY PLEASE GET YOUR BACKSIDE AWAY FROM THE COM AND STUDY!!
rena is my love. well. almost anw. *coughcough.
michelleeeeeee.
nananana. tuition later. its okay matty dont need to come.
hi kylee. ((((:
NIKHYYY. im sorry i was damn tired la last night wow paiseh.
GIIIIISYYYYYY. im audi on thurs. pfft. fine. leave me alone. ass. LOLS (:

you can look but you cant touch it
if you touch it ima gna
start some drama
you dont want no drama
[but i do want drama. MISS IT.]
nono drama
nononono drama
so dont pull on my hand boy
you aint my man boy
im jst tryna dance boy
and move my humps!

SHES GOT ME SPENDINNNNNNNNG.

addicted.
wahtchoo gna do with all that ass inside dem jeans?

lols.
nads.

who will understand?

2005-10-11T20:26:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

find me a flower
that will not wilt,
because thats waht
my heart hoped for
forever.

hold my hand
down this road
that never stops,
to my soul that meant
forever.

see me as i am
cos with you
is all i'll ever need to be,
my promise is
forever.

drive my emotions wild
and keep me free
in your arms,
cause thats the only
thing that makes my
forever.

i'll remember,
your warmth
your eyes
your words -

forever.

forever : a private sanction of hope between people, who know nothing but each other, end everywhere else but in their heart, because time is immaterial.

im sorry if my forever meant nothing to you. cause once upon a time, it was the only thing that mattered anything to me.

***

the guys : thank you. i mean it, truly. you all like spent i dont knw, three hours? four hours? trying to get me to understand chem. i cant promise that im going to do extremely well tomorrow, y'knw? but i promise that i WILL try my best. and hey, losers la (:

dear diaree.
sometimes, i jst dont knw waht to do. yea.
hey, you were on my side. and they? they just rolled their eyes.
and still you want me all the time, yeah you do.
when no one understands, you come and take my hand.
you get me.

in all my if-onlys,
theres one wish that stays true;
and thats my shooting star secret for you.

losted.

2005-10-09T14:27:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
happy fasting month (: fastings been going fine so far.

yesterday evening was fun. went with dewei and james and omar. omar, thank you for being amazing. your words mean alot to me, and thank you for sharing and giving us these opportunities. broke fast at arab street (: if theres any comfort left, it is knowing how united God can make believers.

exams in the past week have been.. surviveable. yea. i think thats all i want to say about it.

im under an immense pressure right now. the only thing thats keeping me up is knowing that its fasting month, and maybe God is giving me a test. its during exam period too. im praying, im praying real hard that God will bring me through this well. my resistance is like down. dear diaree, i dont knw waht to do.

half of me jst wants to throw it away, its their problem, not mine. i dont even like, know them. at all. but the other half of me jst cant refuse her. i feel bad, and sorry for her. i mean. maybe. partially. though i know it isnt my fault, i feel guilty.
then theres the part when i dont knw why im spending so much time so much energy thinking and worrying about her when i dont even know for sure whether she`s for real. how much to believe? i mean. my good friend trusts the guy right, so how bad can he be? but waht reason would she have to lie to me? then again, maybe the guy is jst acting nice. oh gosh, i really dont knw.
im like. lost.
one hundred steps away from anything.
seratus tapak dari segalanya. seribu pelangi tidak bleh mencerahkan langitku ini.
keseorangan.

i dont want to let her be cos i cant bear to, and she seems harmless and all.
but i cant focus. im so screwed. theres amath chem phys and egeog. all have to mug for.
and my stupid mind cant think of anything else.

im sorry to all my friends. i knw i havent been replying your msgs and stuff. i jst need. i dnos waht i need. im jst like, lost.
i dont knw.

friends are like walls.
sometimes they hold you up.
sometimes you lean on them.
but often, it`s enough to know
that they`re standing by.
thank you.
dewei - i swear. i dont knw waht im doing. sighs. thank you for being there.
nikhy - hey. miss talking to you. im sorry. i`ll be okay.
mao - heys. your crap makes me laugh, loser (:
rishik - thanks for teaching me.
marco - lame la. (:
morgan - your handkerchief is beyond gross. eeee.
andre - i like your mona lisa nail many many.
jac.501 - baby, thanks for listening girl.
michelle.501 - thank you for your support. i miss you.
rina.501 - and yoo too. your smses do make me smile (:
james - yoo dont basket me also la walau (:
rena - argh. toona i love you.

my prayer.
in this time
when nothing seems to be so clear,
not how they used to be :
Lord i turn to you.
The almighty, most Merciful,
won't you guide your child?
please dont reject me.
im lost,
and the only thing
that im clinging on to
is your light.
your hope,
diffused,
scattered.
im trying,
dear God.
not to drown,
in this sea of obstacles
you have flooded me with.
for all my past,
all my wrong,
i pray for forgiveness.
nothing will shake my faith,
or stray me from my path to you.
wont you help me, Lord?
if there`s anytime when i needed someone.
wished for something, so bad
that would be now.
wont you bring me close to your heart?
bring me back my wings,
its hard to fly
when im down on knees.
take me to your saving grace.

God, i turn to you.

resistance is down____
*nadia.

will you love her now?

whats the DEAL?

2005-10-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

hey whats the deal?
yoo`ve all got it wrong
im a nobodys girl
have been my own me all along

hey whats the deal?
starting these rumours that aren’t real
use my name, like its some game
don’t care how I feel

hey whats the deal?
acting like you know it all
which him im after
or when I fall

hey whats the deal?
like as if you know my heart
if yoo have no hell idea
then don’t even start

hey whats the deal?
I thought you knew me better
how long have we been sharing
all these boy secrets together

hey whats the deal?
all that crass about me
bout me and dem boys
it aint even funny

hey whats the deal?
don’t you see
im a nobodys girl
quit those stupid stories.

hey how long till yoo`re gna be leaving me ALONE?
without fragments of imaginary boys
some I`ve never even seen!

-out.

a nobody`s girl.

2005-10-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

a sheet of darkened canvas stretches itself across the sky as grey wisps take their time to lazily pass by. riotous leaves joyously race into cracks and disorientate the innocent symmetry of heaven and earth. the sepia soil is carpeted by green grass, as insects trawl the premises,
invisible, unnoticed.
pelts of rain start to dot the field, as the smell of rain diffused through the air.

in the exact centre of a perfect 20 by 20 metre field, sat a boy. his body was an undoubted haven. sinewy muscles rippled against a simple white shirt that stood out starkly against his coloured skin. his hair was a simple down of gentle waves. the rain had matted it slightly. his fingers played with a long stemmed rose,
thoughtfully, precisely.
it was a deep red, with 19 petals making its beauty.

a thousand thoughts ran through his head and mind. mostly were of her. there would have been alot less things to think about if she hadnt come into his life. not all the memories were easy to accept. he thought of her, a colourful contrast compared to a bleak landscape. the way she threw back her head when she laughed, and how her eyes always radiated trust, almost like a child, yet he knew her passion was nothing short of womanly. it wasnt just pictures, there were sensations that still tingled through his veins. how her body was always comfortably warm and how he could count every tiny mole. the way she was oh so beautiful,
so lovely, exceptional.
and so perfectly flawed at the same time.

dear diaree.
met da gang for awhile tday. did like SO much math ughhhh including thru tuition. tutor was bad mood tday. yea. mostly. then had a perfect evening with my family. went out. even adam was being cute tday. lols. i got a new shirt. yoo knw one of those disney gio ones? hahahs. the one of lilo kissing stitch whos like contorting his face. lols. cuteness. okaypokes. matty cut his hair. lols. no more pokey ): got my ndp cip hours and st`s from amirul. shall have to rmbr to bring on monday. studying bio now. determined to finish it by tmrw and revise like ss AGAIN or smth. or chem. something. yea. revision is coming along okay. i pray EOYS will be fine for everyone (:

WTH.
I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
DONT YOO THINK THEY GET ENOUGH
can yoo PLEASE respect my PRIVACY?

for the record : I, NADIA A. SAMDIN, am NOBODYS girl, am NOT attached, isnt OWNED by anyone, nor BELONG to someone. other than my parents.
PFFT!

nads.

would you FALL, to FLY?

2005-09-30T16:20:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
proven fact : women living in close quarters often have their periods tgthr.
I SWEAR.
from erin to michelle to rich to me.
PFFT.
oh wells.

yea anyhoos. tdays amath exam was totally beyond bleagh. yea. well except for a few parts. another skool week over. whoop dee doo. exam week next week! half looking forward it to it. sad tho, sec 3 is almost over! next year we`ll be sec 4. eeps. waht a freaky thought LOLS. and i`ll miss tiffany! lols. thanks celine for studying ytd whees.
lately mich and i are poem mad. we`ve been writing poems one line each and continuing the entire thing. this is a product from nadia (green) mich (blue) and ruth (yellow) after a particular lit lesson (:

a guitar that doesnt fit through the window
a constellation that isnt mine
a crushed rose petal, times 16
no, i dont cry on the outside anymore

staring into the blank emptiness of the street
it is the velvet sky that cradles my heart
dreams that never become reality
the stars still spell out your name

are you lonely out there?
the space next to me, waiting for him
or is someone loving you?
one last dance to our first song

i cant hear the music the stars are dancing to
they've forgotten all the keys
maybe imperfection is for real
kill me while i still believe that you were meant for me

isolated, but watching the world
is it everything you dreamed of?
will tomorrow still start with you?
its hard to be free when you're down on your knees

my fingers still cant grasp any answers
its like kissing shadows on the wall
would you fall, to fly?

yeaa.
some are our favourite phrases.
happy studying people.

hi list
hi nikhy!
hi st!
hi jiajia!
hi rena!
hi neritta!
hi rich!
hi kesh!
hi erin!
hi marco!
hi dewei!
hi amirul!
hi rishik!
hi kash!
hi gissy!
hi berlyn!
hi yings!
and hi to yoo too, wahtever yoo`re carving.

oohs and yings. i did the quizzes too. but i dont like the pics hahahs. so this is my result.

waht are the keys to your heart?
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

waht does your birth date mean?
While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings.You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion. Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings. Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma. An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail. You are very aware and intuitive. You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension.

lols this is funny.

your kissing purity score : 71%
for you, kissing isnt a casual thing
lip to lip action makes your heart sing

waht kind of seducer are you?
The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get.You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them.The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase.You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away.You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance.Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't!You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors.Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor.You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for.

whees. back to studying.
much loves.
nads.

your email reply.

2005-09-29T19:08:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
eventful days. actually. nothing really. yesterday was pretty fun. a little confusing. the night made it alot more. thanks tho nikhy, was a blast talking to yoo. tallness. im still me, and everythings pretty much still the same. except that exams a hell of a lot closer. all the best to us. class attendance tday was ridiculously low. 17? yoo absentees are BUMS! hmmmphs. lols. kiddins. yoo knw i love yoo guys. 307-ers *roll eyes. we`re one of a kind. yeaa. outs.

i dont knw waht to say now
maybe i never did
but how was i supposed to see
all the things yoo hid
i dont knw waht im feeling
or if everythings okay
if i want things to changeor always be this way
i dont knw wahts tomorrow
or the days the follow after
maybe we`ll never ever have
the old times with the laughter
i dont knw if there were old times
cos all the meaningful things were typed
only when yoo held my hand
did yoo and me feel right
i dont knw if yoo ever meant
the things that made my heart melt
but when yoo said i had pretty eyes
that compliment was felt
i dont knw waht we are now
or waht we`ll ever be
could it be time to let go
of this memory?
i dont knw if yoo`re over me
cos i dont see how yoo could still be 'on'
everything that was special
seems to be long gone
i dont knw if im ever gna knw
the person that yoo are
or if all im ever gna see
is the thousand and one personas
i dont knw if i feel like knowing
anything, anymore
not sure if my heart still cares
but its feeling kinda sore
at the way yoo`ve changed,
and the way i dont understand
how yoo could be so different
from the guy who held my hand
im not the average girl
nor do i ever wish to be her
or if waht yoo feel bout me
really really matters
to be totally perfectly honest
i dont knw waht we are right now
i do want to find that out though
someway, somehow
but if yoo`re gna stay in that shell
of dreams lightyears away
yoo`re never gonna really live and love
through every wonderful day
im not trying to be harsh
or anything else thats mean
well maybe a little bit cos im confused
about your email that i`ve seen
the fifteen things yoo mentioned
made me flashback to those times
im kinda running out here
on things that fit and rhyme
i dont knw why im doing this
its very bloody mundane
i dont knw waht yoo`re going thru
i guess i hope it isnt pain
i dont knw waht yoo find in me
that yoo can type but not show
i dont knw why yoo`re insisting
on living thru this - solo.
when this reaches yoo
about 5 seconds from now
i dont knw waht yoo`ll be thinking
waht your feelings will allow
i dont knw waht the point of me
typing all this is
but *, waht i really want to say
is this :
i will never ever judge yoo,
by anything other than waht i knew.
and im trying to hold, and keep in mind
the yoo that once was true.
over and above anything i feel
waht matters is that yoo do your bes
tin the upcoming exams
cos thats the real true test.
this is prolly long enough
to count as a reply
a final quote that i`ll leave yoo with :

would yoo fall, to fly?

nads.
/inject yourself into my veins.

surpriseee.

2005-09-25T20:37:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
i've found my new song addiction. im feeling yoo by michelle branch ft santana. shit damn nice (: lols. okaypokays. mannn my eng exams are tmrw. lols. im still hyperventilating from tday (: yayness. was fun.
shall start from ytd. went to parkway for abit then we went for cdc meetg. committee. whees. ranjeet was earlier than us! hehs. kiddings. yea then some things were abit crappy, was kinda worried. hope everythings okay now mmhmms. yeaap3. then i rushed for tuition and was late lols. then took mrt with matty. he's damn funny la. lols. wore my big yellow beads bracelet from tutors house through mrt ride to bedok *cracks up. kept protesting how gay it was. anyhoos. then went to parkway to meet marco and dewei (damn sian whole day see their face wow jia lat) lols. we bought ranjeets bday present! hahahahs. its a pillowcase that says YOO SHOULD BE WORKING hahahahs. yea. then we had kfc then marco went off for haircut, dewei went home and nadia went to meet her marmie adam and mama (:

this morning after religious class faster rushed changed hahahahs then we went for ranjeets SHH surprise party lols. he was too touched! lols. whoops. then we had some performances like the skool catwalk by the models and the committee's poetry slam and the models' skit AND.

the junk walk.

lerr. omar roped marco and i in. wow. our first venture into the modelling world. thankfully for the modelling world, it was jst a short stint. lols. kinda amazing to see how it properly works and all. all the spray paint from the "clothes" was on brenda suji and my bodies. lols. marco had a birds nest on his head. yings and dewei were in their element laughing their backsides off at us. yea. paisehhness. lols. but yea. really truly thanks omar! (:

whees. then it was a mad rush for a cab! WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET A CAB! lols. yea. thanks guys. sorry yoo all had to walk! mmhmms. thankfully wasnt home TOO late. had to scrub! lols. yeaa. so now im reading movie reviews and old compos for my english paper tmrw.

*yawns -stretches.
this was an amazing weekend.
i love my mickey mouse pluto shoes.
(:

thank yoo -
thanks omar
thanks ranjeet
thanks ian
thanks marmie
thanks marco
thanks dewei
thanks suji
thanks brenda
thanks andre
thanks morgan
thanks bellydancing governess -grinns
thanks yings
thanks james
thanks EVERYBODYYYYYYY.

hi -
heyas nikhy
heyas kash
heyas kylee
heyas jas
heyas rishik
heyas dora
heyas amirul
heyas siantzu
heyas trishala
heyas rich
heyas michee

tired.

so totally confused;
nads.

nothing more.

2005-09-20T18:08:00.000+08:00

chemisty.

more than a complex formula
of highly intricately linked
compounds and atoms.
(it’s simple really)
love among the beakers
romance drowning in
330 millilitres of water
(more calcium please,
a red flame is produced,
and as you know,
lovers wear red)
okay, as I was saying
enzymes are excreted from
that pouch in your tummy
where you get that funny feeling,
you know?
(yea, that’s the one)
they act as catalysts
for twelve molecules of
acrid pungent magnesium oxide
to react with
the brilliantly blue copper sulphate.
(one crystal is enough).
this entire thing produces white sparks.
(they react explosively)
bang.
and in this soundless sublimed state.
the fumes generated may make one
feel delirious.
(the colour is pretty though)
note* storage in cool temperatures,
without contact, often results in
rust [Fe2O3]
and the weakening and eventual
loosing of what was once strong
covalent bonds.
molecules at high energy
(moving faster and faster),
much like those of Period 11
at gaseous state,
will spread far apart,
gaining kinetic energy.
at that point
(on a graph, it has the coordinates of
x=down, y=downer)
the tangent at
99.999 cm marks no turning back.
then the reaction stops.
just like that.
observation* white precipitate
and residue is observed.
(broken heart pieces)
the stain marks are very difficult to remove
(memories, he can’t forget her)
table vandalism * ii wannx euuuu.
shut up!
stop reminding me.
(okay. sorry)

caution* belief in love in excessive amounts may prove dangerous, and in some cases fatal.

waht i meant to say.

2005-09-20T16:44:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
someone hasnt been entirely honest.
anyhoos. eeps. eoys are sooner than ever. guess waht! i improved for phys *beams. im really proud of that. yeaap3. i think most of us are improving yay. so tday sat there thru the dc duty cos huiyee had to go off. talked to tessa and atiqah. hellos! *wiggles fingers. well, hopefully, we`ll all improve as a board, yeaa? (:

hi toona. dont think i`ll be gg down to ecp. lazy la. say hi to zhen and jardine for me. lols. we`ve got SOO much math hwk *cough cough. seriously. everybody, the nicest juice in the world is fruit tree fresh mango juice with nata de coco! alamak im soo in love with it, seriously. bloody nice.

HI AMIRUL.

lols. waht else has been happening. la dee da. situasinya still sama. mcm tak nak ubah gitu. lerr. sudahlah. lols. shall be fpcusing on studies i guess. bill, hope yoo`re doing aight (: okiepokes. nothing much to blog on for now. wrote a poem tday. lit inspired me. hahas.

if i said that nothing was wrong,
my heart really meant that nothing was right.
and everything we`re losing -which is nothing to yoo,
is the only thing that means anything to me.

and if i wrenched my hands away,
i actually didnt want yoo to let go.
yoo knw?

oh,
and if in that split second, i said the wrong words
that made `us`
become a `yoo.` and `.me`,
inside i was hoping that your mouth would cover mine,
and kiss those words away.

yea.
and if it`s because my feet had walked
those twenty-seven steps away
(and ninety-nine tears)
from yoo,
it was because i thought my heart would not follow.

once, yoo touched my soul.
twice, yoo held my love.
thrice, yoo left me here to bleed.

still me.
nads.

my non-existent status

2005-09-18T14:44:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
some stuff happened on friday. found out something and yea i guess for those few minutes was kinda shocked then pissed for the next hour then disappointed then wahtever. there really wasnt a reason for me to be pissed i guess, not like the person was anything to me directly, right? jst tt yea. realising tt maybe im nothing but face value and "fun". but thats it. no guy ever gives a shit long enough to realise im pissed or hurting bad y`knw? i mean. okays its not against anyone, maybe someone does.
dewei and marcos standing joke about the queue looks like thats all its gna be. *shrugs. i guess no one`s been standing long enough to switch the closed sign to open. well i guess there`s yoo* who`s always been around, but we`ve alrdy shared tt smth and yoo jst seem to be fantasizing over another girl`s ass everytime i hear wind of yoo. mmhmms. ahhs. i sound like an ungrateful ass. i am really. i love da guys dearly. jst y`knw, yoo hear love songs .<3 and its shitty cos there`s no particular person to share it with. i didnt assume we were anything more than `brother sister`. jst the way yoo treated me and looked and me i guess mislead me. *shrugs. and yea, it felt like for the first time in awhile, someone was treating me right and took me more than jst face value. but oh wells.
okays. so i had a pretty amazing saturday. shall include it in my hi-list later (:
eoys are in approximately 15 days time. dnos why 307 suddenly became even more hardworking with a venegeance. we were all pestering out ft for the exam schedule lols! dont think i feel more confident, but i definitely feel a helluva lot more organised. i`ve decided. mon to thurs is my mugging days. fri and sat is my friends/cdc days and sunday is my family/studying days. how does tt sound? lols. i`ll still keep online days as.. everyday if poss. hahahahs. wells. finally done uploading my marmies pics. gna go back to ss alrdy (: yipee. oohs and at religious class theres this adorable baby! omar! he was rattling stuff while i was doing reading. too adorable (: i love babies. their innocence is beautiful.

hi list
hi omar!
hi brenda!
hi andre!
hi james!
hi dewei!
hi taryn!
hi rishik!
hi jas!
hi selv!
hi mich!
hi matt!
hi rena!
hi liz!
hi amirul!
hi marco!

okiepokes. tts it for now.
/cause they only want..
if yoo were my one and only
i`d stickwitu forever.

nads.

chomping on dream white chocolate.

2005-09-11T18:13:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
so as i was telling dewei, kylee and rishik. i have come to a conclusion.
WE ALL HAVE NO LIFE!
this is drawn from my extensive research and case studies into the lives of every other average teenager. or maybe every other not so average teenager. the fact is, we`re all online EVERY two hours or so! honestly. i am guilty as charged too. *sniggers.
deweis excuse is this : isnt this teenage life?
true. but then there`s the other teenagers who go out and live life go clubbing drink smoke etc.
not that i want to be that or that i have anything against that.
well, maybe the drinking and smoking part a little cos they`re bad for your health!
but anyhoos. tday was an okay day. the weather started off gorgeous than went marginally dismal. rainyyyy ): lalala.
i got in abit of malay, and two chapters of phys before i crashed aslp for awhile. hehs. trying to get all the acheyness out before skool tmrw.
skool.
groans inwardly.
i mean, i dont mind tt its starting tmrw yay and all tt crap. but like. jst imagining three weeks into skool and how sianned beyond belief we all will be once again. i can imagine.. rena falling aslp during bio and nadia stoning during phys and rich with her romance novels and the twins doing other subs hwk and deepana doodling i love math and amy gg to the toilet every ten seconds and lydia and her donald duck and running throughout the class. hahahahahahahahas. love my seat. sort of anw.
ely told me tmrw is malay compo paper prelims. whoops. wish me luck. thanks zul once again for your trusty list of chim malay phrases. hahahs.
okays. got two lists tday.

good luck list
good luck marco
good luck mao
good luck ow
good luck rishik
good luck arthur
good luck kylee
good luck selv
good luck jas
I HOPE YOO ALL DO WELL! *blows kisses.

birthday list
happy birthday mao!
happy birhday vicki!
((:

sweet list
jas while crossing the road
marco on the way home
kash for my sunshine
nikhy for beach planning
kylee for those last words
amirul for the songs
yings for her testimo
rena for knwing exactly which math step i stop at
st for herself

actually i think i`ll screw the hi-list for tday.
HEHS.

i like white chocolate and dark chocolate.
why settle for anything other than extreme? (:

much lovees, nad.

its another sunny dayyyyyyy (:

2005-09-10T12:37:00.000+08:00

dear yoo.
yoo knw, everyone feels left out sometimes, somehow. and i feel that way with different groups so i guess i can understand if yoo`re feeling the same way. im jst wondering if yoo rmbr how close we were. nowadays, yoo dont ever tell me if yoo`re feeling down. yoo a t like yoo`re okay and bloody happy, and i dont get why. if yoo`re trying to `spare` me, then i`ll tell yoo now that its rubbish. im your friend and i care about yoo. do yoo want me to ask yoo wahts wrong everytime we talk? rmbr? i used to ask yoo, are yoo okay, is something wrong? and yoo used to laugh and say why do yoo always think smth is wrong? im fine. rmbr that? yoo`re assuming stuff about some things. no one is leaving anyone behind.

dear diaree.
i dont like it how, y`knw, when conflicts or problems arise, its being treated like a case. Case 9999999000007. problem blablabla. suspects dotdotdot. y`knw? and everyone else talks about it and somehow yoo`re the last to knw. no guys, its not anything to do with exco and stuff, im totally cool (: this is jst in general. yeaa. and im not going to treat YOO like a case. cos i respect yoo as a person. a case sits there and waits for people to go up to it. a real person would tell at l east one friend that something is wrong. if in your heart, i still mean anything at all to yoo. then i hope and pray that i`ll be that one yoo tell.
okays. moving on.
HI IM BACK FROM KL (: it was fun. relaxing. i snoozed quite abit. HEHS. only had one day fo shopping but bought stuff whees. a purple top, fantastic shoes, super bag, funky wallet. HAHAS. i make it sound all damn nice. but it is to me. thanks marmie ((: yeaa. saw paklang maklang and kak hafsah. i really pray tt she`ll become better somehow. yeaa. so the moment i came back across the causeway. WHOAAA. it was like a surge of msgs collected over the past few days LOLS. and had a lot to digest! ran around looking for smth to wear for the shoot next day.
early friday morning, dragged myself to meet da gang! WHEES lols. poetry slam was funn. yeaaa. hahahahas. my team won =PpP yoo shud have seen deweis face LOLS! CURSE ME NOW WITH YOUR FIERCE TEARS I PRAY. i rmbr my line. LOLS. one of the last ones. yeaap3. so we had abit of lunch then the rest went off leaving a few of us left to set up the stuff and everything.
boy was it hectic from then! we were running here and there setting up the stuff looking after stuff and yoo dont wna knw the gory details =Pp but no seriously, it was a fantastic experience and i really enjoyed working with the rest. yeaaa. this com rocks! WEEHEES. ranjeet was wearing a cap hahahas. tt was the first thing dewei noticed. hahas. MIN GO UPDATE YOUR BLOG SO WE CAN STEAL THE PHOTOS ((: okays. i`ll upload one here! hahas. of a few of us. we look like, glam somehow. we were saying. can yoo imagine if like ten years from now one of us got married and we`re all dressed like that eating the italian ice cream. oh man (: hope the lot of us will be friends forever.
anyhoos. then we ended the briefing superly late alrdy we were all half stoned. lols. dewei was lying on the floor. marco was like stoning. hahahas. okays. i shall not comment.
this morning had exco meetg (: i was bloody stoning for the first bit sorry and felt very shit. after that it became totally fine though ((: yeaa. *huggs everyone. saw kash after tt for a few nanoseconds. kash pleeeeeease dont be angry la..
okiepokies. have to rush off for tuition soon. matthew im gna be late. HAHAS. sorry.
heres my love list!
LOVE DEWEI
LOVE MARCO
LOVE MAISHA
LOVE SHER LI
hehs.
LOVE JAS
LOVE SHARKY
LOVE YINGS
LOVE SUJI
LOVE HARYIANI
LOVE RUSHI
LOVE ANDRE
LOVE MIN
and yi lei and mumtash and debbie and jesselene.
yayness.
AND OF COURSE, da gang who was there esp HEEHEES like mao rishik selv and mich.

LOVE ST
LOVE TRISH
LOVE SUE ANN
LOVE RETHA
LOVE RICH
LOVE MICH
LOVE NIC
LOVE SHIEW MEE
LOVE TUTY

okiepokes thats all for tday. much lovees (:
nads.
PS : ST IS STILL BLUSHING AND GIGGLING AFETR ONE YEAR. awwwwww ((:
P P S : MAO IS A BUM! grinns.

going awayy.

2005-09-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
cldnt resist one last post. loadsa stuff going thru my mind right now. im glad i dont have to be in skool for the next week. i guess in life yoo always do have to act somewaht. revealing your soul totally is probably waht screws up the play. i miss drama and syf. when yoo started crying during your role, it was actually a good thing and at the end when yoo finish your part, y`knw people all think its part of your play and never knw its waht yoo`re truly feeling. school life is getting complicated. i miss sec 1 innocence.
dear Lord, i pray that in prefects, everyone will feel like its a family rather than something yoo want to run away from. i pray that no one will be left out. i pray there is equality. i pray that in class, there will be unity where competitiveness is found. i pray that in friendships there are forever. i pray that in drama, there is truth.

dear diaree,till i return
i`ll be loving yoo still.
nads.

going to kl till thursday (:

2005-09-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
WHOOPIEEEE ((: tday was an exciting morning. looking forward to more meetings (: love yoo guys! sorry i cant make it on tuesday. shall be thinking of ya`ll in KL. soyah and rushi were hilarious. hahahahas. CRYSTAL BALL. lols. jst kidding. hahahas and the picture is of my self-proclaimed two "body-guards". FARNEYNESS. suji i like your bag *grinns. hi to all *wiggles fingers. ohs. ian`s reaction to the coin thing was farneyyy.
then went for tuition. hahas. arrived uhms, yea. late. my bum toona didnt come. POOH. then went home. was superly tired. met dewei at like, 8 something? yawns.
wells, i`ll be gg KL on monday. back on thurs. gna visit my relatives there (: hopefully marmie will buy some nice new clothes =Pp NO DEWEI I WILL NOT WEAR MY SPORTS SHOES. math and eng hol hwk down. left with ss, and malay, and need to study phys! chem i need someone to teach. *glances meaningfully at dewei. lols.
okays. im psyched for the event *grinns.
i dont think i have anything else to blog about at the moment. except that some people should be studying for their prelims. *COUGHCOUGHS. lols. amirul likes my green flipflops.

everyyyoneee. tag my board while im away okays? jst in case i dont blog tmrw, this is my miss list :
DA GANG.
i miss yings
i miss dewei
i miss marco
i miss mich
i miss mwen
i miss dora
i miss kyle
i miss rishik
i miss selv
i miss jas
i miss mao

TEEHEES.
also.
i miss maisha
i miss suji
i miss hariyani
i miss sher li
i miss soyah
i miss rushi.

PLUS.
i miss rena.
i miss liz.
i miss rich.
i miss deepana.
i miss amy.
i miss mel.
i miss ruth.
i miss gissy.
i miss berlyn.
i miss kash.
i miss dodo.
i miss amirul.
i miss bill.

uhhhhhms. yeaaa. thats all for now.
see ya`ll for poetry slammmm.
i love sunshinee (:
nads.

WHERE`S MY SUNSHINEE!

2005-09-02T16:34:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
yay. im home remotely early tday. SURPRISED? grinns. wells. ytd we went airport to send yings off ): DEAR, HAVE FUN OKAY. yoo`ll always be my `commitment` HAHAS. xinni came too, we have similarity in our emath txtbk lols. thanks jas and dewei for cheering me up immensely. and marco for teaching me math hahas. dear dora, girl love yoo so manymany (: yeaa anyhoos. dont have any pics to upload cos i didnt feel like bringing my cam that day to marcos great relief no doubt LOLS. so we all met and stuff. was funn. esp the bus ride home when dora, me, jas, selv, dewei and marco [i think tts all] were sprawled out at the back of the bus. y`knw? then i realised tt dewei was right. da gang wont change (: and thank God for that. hahas.
well. we got back our ca3 results. bleaghhhhhh. i did awfully. really kinda annoyed with myself about my 2 math. i KNOW i could have done better, like at least 2 grades better for amath. but i suppose the past is already over and theres no point brooding over it. i MUST work harder and dewei must teach me chem. i know i`ve said it before but this time i think i really mean it when i say im not gna take up any more extra projects in skool. yeaaa. at cdc is another thing =Pp
hmms. someones birthday is comingg. grinns. im gna make a card. yeaap3. jst called marmie and askd her to buy construction paper. whoa tday i had a gazillion books to carry back home man. my shoulder was dying and my arms also were dying. marmie told me to cab cos the car was with daddy at the office. yeaa. the uncle was nice. he gave me 20 cents discount. hahas. barely got the chance to touch my phone. mms. lalala. wah piang. i was cramping tday in skool lols. and rena was suchhhhh a bum. MONSTER HAIR RAOWRS. hahas. love her.
did dc duty after skool. had some mix up. cos madeline was supposed to start doing but then she has sjab so aliya has been helping her do weekly. but tday the sec 4s had prelims. i ended class late, was packing up my books and all and no one could take over. so yeaa. reached down at around like 2.40? damn surprised to see no prefect there. but ah wells, thanks st and trishala for starting it! *HUGGS. trish was jst gg off when i reached down. so it was okay. hahas. VENUS, ZOE and JACELYN `TAY` guai guai got go home anot. and i am not a teacher okay.
yeaa. think im gna go and bathe now. mmms hungryyy. didnt eat recess or lunch no timee. tmrw have to go down to cdc in the morning. yay. havent figured out waht to wear! see yoo guys (:
hi list
hi rishik
hi marco
hi kylee
hi selv
hi dora
hi dewei
hi mich
hi xinni
hi jas
hi kash
hi mao
HI YINGS
HI GISSY
HI BERLYN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARETHA
HAPPY BELATED JARDINE
HAPPY EARLY STELLA

the world is at your fingertips
dont flick it all away.
nadia.

wrong.

2005-08-31T21:48:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

i pray that Lord, when yoo brought us together as friends,
yoo meant it to stay that way.
i wish that transparency transcended all layers of humans.
i smile, feeling as if my heart doesnt work anymore.
i cry sometimes, with the moon bearing witness to my soliloquy.
i turn away, wanting to shut off this pain.
i remember, and dont want to erase the memory.
i hope - and wait for a new sunrise.

i was looking forward to tomorrow. im not too sure of anything anymore.
nothing is going right,
not even one tiny part.

if you wish your life to be worthwhile, live by God`s words and go forth with a heart of forgiveness and faith to stay true to what yoo believe in.

dear senior prefects batch : loves to all (:
dear soon-to-be-juniors : hey, chin up okay? the best is yet to come (:
dear junior batch : let`s stick together (:
note to self : prefects should do this yearly (:

nowhere to runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn_
nads.

beautiful weather (:

2005-08-28T21:53:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
heyas! today had BEAUTIFUL weather ((:
perfect day for ecp outing. i mean yea it was hot and all but not totally ICK sweaty hot. yeaa. so i met BELL at my hse bus stop and i had a yellow allamanda! hahas. then dad dropped us off at ecp where we were meeting the rest. walked past skate sports butr ena was at sps for someeee thing or another. so went in cos jardine and marcel waved. hahas rena i saw jackson and gladys but dont think she recognised me. anyhoos. gave jardine the flower. sorry marcel shall pluck one next time LOLS. then bell and i walked and walked to lagoon.
we got lazy and sat down for awhile. whoa. i dnos, it was jst so pretty. the weather was amazing to me, my favourite kind. so i was with my beloved camera [OH NO, DO YOO BRING THAT DAMN THING EVERYWHERE WITH YOO -quotes someone COUGHS] clicking clicking away hahas. then met mel. and then sufiya. and then erin. then i think jac and neritta and jas and her sis. then rich and arthur. and daph. and then i dont rmbr the sequence HEHS but sam and gwen came too.
yeaa then had quite an okay time over there, before mel and i went off. hahas. we sat at the breakwaters and talked bullshit ghost stories and the crazy guy! hahahs.
then went back ate char kway teow and mel had her omelette cockle oyster dnos waht thingy. lols. yeaa. then everyone started gg off alrdy.. hahas.
three of us walked mel home then they walked me. thanks guys ((: hahas. sorry i got so emo and psychotic along the way. funny teacher stories LOLS. three minus one. lets hope it becomes back to normal soon yeaa.
lols.
overall i rate today an eight out of ten.. for most parts.
thank yoo God for tday.
and i`d like to say hi to
hi BELL!
hi mel (:
hi yings *huggs
hi dewei COFFEESHOP AHPEK hahahas
hi marco the statue moooooves
hi sufiya SMILE SYG
hi erin hahas jambu seyy
hi daph my ex partner
hi nic my PARTNER
hi kash DARKNESS (:
hi mao hahahas kindergarten romance HUHHS.

lols. for tday shall keep it short.
skool tmrw. weekends are too short.

lovees.

the DEBATES (:

2005-08-27T21:40:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
FIRSTLY, i must must must really really really say how important the Lord Almighty`s help and blessings are.
now i shall start my story. ytd after skool, mel manda chen and i rannnnnn to see bell who was with daph and gwen at the hawker ctr! HI BELL (: actually after skool rich and i were LOOOKING for her to no avail. anyhoos.
then i ran into the car and marmie and daddy chiong-ed me down to cdc. hahas. dewei and kash were alrdy there. then. our mad rush begin. dewei and i began stapling, water bottle packing, labling, photocopying, lightening, writing, motion thinking, envelope sorting YADDA YADDA. hahahas. and thanks to YINGS and KASH too for helping us! bahhs. ((: yeaa. and then was decided it`d be easier for us to go down and put the stuff at kpg ubi cc tday.
so we did.
hahahas marcus helped carry the box also. and the two other models. yea anyhoos. ohs and they were planning for the visit to kids home tday and dewei, kash and i went to buy the prizes. we WALKED AND WALKED FOR FOREVER (or so it felt) from kpg ubi to the 15 bus stop, cos we were gna meet part of da gang at parkway. so we met them at kfc. ben ow, alfred and ben mao were there with marco and rishik and jas but the three left cos they stayed quite long alrdy or smth jst to say hi. SORRY GUYS!
yeaa then we went FISH AND CO! hahas. SO EX. but oohs the cookie thing the guys drank was damn nice man. and i liked my corriander spaghetti okays! niiice. yea. yings didnt seem too herself though ): hope everything is okay. yings! hope tday your `my first break` thing was fun. missed yoo *huggs.
yea then met suji and talked to her. suji we love yoo so much! thanks for coming and great job tday (: then came home late. nearly 9. then got a call and oh gosh we had another obstacle. thank god for dewei also man! hahas. yea. then i was trying trying making the certs until like 11.30 or smth.. then dewei printed them. thanks! then i cldnt sleep.
i dnos why. i panicked. i suddenly worried and worried like shit for the deb8s. so i took the Quran, and started reading and praying alot. until 1 smth? then i finally managed to fall asleep. then at 4 smth for no reason i woke up. and the moon was right there, so beautiful. i cldnt fall aslp, stoned and thought about stuff while looking at it until 5 ish then slept until 6.15. then i decided i was gna do morning prayers esp cos of the deb8s. so i did. really, i am so grateful and thankful for all the blessings God has showered upon us tday.
then met dewei at like 0735 ish and then sharky and jas came. sharky i am SO glad yoo`ve been constant throughout the thing yeaa (: thenn.. damn funny. deweis phone rang. he picked up. mich. then my phone rang. picked up. neritta.
THEY BOTH CALLED US. so funny. i cld hear mich in the backgrnd hahahas.
anyhoos. so we made our way there yadda yadda and it was LOCKED. hahas. and we tried calling but no one answered! then lucky the manager or smth i think came around 8.25 or smth and we went in and then people came. yeaa.
thanks to the guys for helping us move the tables and chairs and set up. really. yeaa.
first round kc won! (: good job to the bedok green debaters too. yeaa. didnt have very fiery competition HEHS. kcians did well! CONGRATS TO XINNI, RICH AND DEBS (: then the adjudicators did a mock debate. whoa they did a good job for smth so spontaneous . the message that we took away kids?
as said by chloe : S*X, S*X, S*X.
lols. nvm. yeaaa. then. oh gosh i have so many people to thank. shall do it at the end. then yea round two was amazing! hahas. damn funny. abit attackish but still whoa nonetheless. both sides did good jobs to be perfectly honest. yeaa.
then after the whole thing. ran to tuition late. then after tuition ran to parwaky swensens met mel and bell. we ate ice cream! gosh i must have put on ten kg by now. then mel met manda and ruth ((: HIIII. then bell was hungry dont knw how she had space LOLS kidding dear then we went to banquet.
I ATE POPIAH (:
then came home.
okays. this blog entry is WAY too long as it is so i shall jst start my list. tday, its my
thank you list.
thank GOD above all (:
thanks dora for timekeeping and coming. and your two friends too! neeta right? and uhms SORRY DNOS HOW TO SPELL!
thanks mich and neritta for last minute helping
thanks sharky for being there
thanks jas, selv, rishik GOOD JOB GUYS
thanks suji, bryan charles congrats and good job! (:
thanks han, ignatius, esmund
thanks XINNI, RICH, DEBS congrats!
thanks min and the WHOLE PANEL right there (:
thanks ranjeet for giving dewei and i the opportunity
thanks to DA GANG in general ((:
thanks mwen for the PHOTO OPS.
thanks gissy and berlyn for gg dwn to cdc with me hahas
thanks suji`s two friends (:
thanks arthur and mao for coming down
thanks mao for the song too ((: and listening.
thanks kash for helping and doing everything. yes i owe yoo. -pokes.
thanks marcus for helping us print tags and clipboards and stuff!
thanks DEWEI OH GOSH. dewei. hahas. well, yoo knw (:
thanks mel ((:
thanks BELL love yoo.
thanks marmie for understanding
and adam and daddy and chester.
thanks amirul for the pics.
thanks lizzie for explaining trigo
thanks rena who is gna lend me her SKIRT.
HAHAHAS.

AND TO EVERYONE I DIDNT MENTION, i value your help and care tday SO very much ((: lovees.

nad (:

roller coaster ride.

2005-08-25T22:04:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.

you ask me to queue with you,
at the roller coaster line.
it`s never been my favourite -
but this time i dare cos your
hand is holding mine.
i don`t expect to enjoy it much
but i decide to try.
if you like it, then it can`t be that bad.
but i feel uncertain,watching the carriages, like my dreams
out of reach, graising the sky.
then it`s our turn, and i fumble for my ticket
and turn to find you gone.
left, right - you couldnt have left me
the crowd surges forward, pushing
and i find myself strapped in alone.
i don`t dare anymore
im scared.
i frantically scream, but its soundless.
and when it rockets skyward
i face my dreams unprepared.

maybe that`s why things
never turn out the way i imagine.

this week - hmms. roller coaster ride. tday was a nice day. we had almost three full free periods in a row, and i found PC quite enriching actually. it made me think about others out there who i can help, instead of thinking where i myself have failed and fallen short.
one of my occupation suggestions is - prison officer. i was reading and its quite inspring actually. i know now, thru cdc and past experiences that i WANT to volunteer and do social work when i grow older. but my first career choice right now still lies in the hotel and tourism line. yeaa. mr pang actually said.. hmms, yes yes quite fitting actually. hahas. yeaa.
so i woke up this morning and my left eye was sliiiiiiightly swollen. its been hurting for the past few days at the tip there. i was panicking thru out skool. hehs. and steph fong my darling tree trunk was like WHERE?! i dont SEE ANY SWELL?! hahahas. marmie also. -.-"
after skool, RENA DIDNT COME BTW THAT BUM. so yeaa. went for the psl wkshp with nad2 and liz. hahas. whees. quite okay ah. then.. rushed home and bathed change in 7 mins! new record. lols. cos mel was coming over.
hahas mel hasnt come over in AGEEEEES. yeaap3. we made a present for AHEMS. hahas. yay. not bad ah mel? -grinns. then sent her out to the bus stop.
and made more debate plans with dewei.. oh my, so many changes keep cropping up! hope we can continue to overcome them mann.
hahas. on tuesday i went down to cdc made a new friend. he shall be on my hi list later. lols. TALL FREAK (:
oohs tmrw after skool is prolly the one thing im looking forward to, havent exactly been myself past few days. yay. da gang - SEE YOO TMRW!
so.. here it is.
hi list.
hi rishik! happy belated
hi dewei we can DO it
hi yings *huggs
hi kash hahas dinner tmrw boy.
hi jas my new self-proclaimed pet dog.
hi nicnic PARTNER
hi rena BUM
hi lizzie *kisses
hi nad2! -eats pao slowly
hi nikhy hahas yes yes meet SOMEDAYY (:
hi mel ITS NICE MANN -grinns.
hi amirul thanks for the songgs! YAY.
hi bellbell darling see yoo tmrw or sat and sun and mon morning. i miss yoo girl!
hi suji I OWE YOO ONE!
hi dora yes yes i loves yoo ((:
hi adlynn JAMBOO.
hi jiayi! koon sabai dee re plow ka?
hi st .<3
hi gabs I HAVENT DONE TUITION HWK -dies.
hi aud hahas repeats above.

okays. oohs nice and long one tday. hahas.

behind these eyes;
do yoo see me?
-nads.

forever`

2005-08-22T21:36:00.000+08:00

dear diaree,
hahas iylia syg! here`s the poem lols ((: actually.. its a half song, dnos the tune hahas

if there was a way
to keep our names written everlasting
on the sane
i`d never let the waves
wash them away.
cos yoo are more beautiful
than the world's 7 wonders times ten
and i hope that yoo`ll always stay (:

jst to hear our hearts beat in time
feeling your fingers -
intertwined with mine.
there`s a promise
that this moment
could last forever.

a letter in a bottle
between lovers apart
like a carribean pirate
yoo`ve captured my heart
shattered seashells in the sea
don`t let this be another broken dream
for your love, is what i breathe (:

dont let our heartbeats miss a second
cos im praying that this love
will never end.
there`s a promise
that this moment
could last forever,
forever.

hahahas. there. my first attempt at `song writing` lols. sadly i dont knw musics for nuts. suppose that it can pass off as a poem. hmms. well tday got back emath paper. sucked. seriously BLEAGHH tough paper to me. only the graph was okay. and the first qn! BUT IM PISSED AT MYSELF FOR MY AMATH. yea i am. i totally messed up the graph qn cos i misread it. pfft. minused 8 marks jst like that. crap. oh wells. as daddy says, learn from mistakes.
jst got back from tuition. sorry rena gabby and liz! i was pissing the shit outta them. how how? to msg or not to msg? hahahas. then i`ll stare at my phone then sigh and put it away hahahas. then! THE VIBRATION DIDNT WORK! lucky i kept checking my phone. THERE WAS A MSG! hahas. psychotic. so lame nad. shud have seen my tutors face. ooohs.
lalala. i like the song everything by fefe dobson.
YES AMIRUL, INSPIRED FROM YOUR RADIOBLOG. hahas. havent listened to it till recently. lols. bahhs, shall be studying bio in a bit i think.
ooh jst reminded rena if she can bring the voice recorder. hmms. gg down cdc tmrw. hahas dewei we HAVE to study bio. LOLS.
ohs and during tuition? rena took a pic with my hp damn lame. with her stuffed small dog? she put it damn close to the phones cam then i sat far away and covered my face as if scared from the dog.
THEN. i put her hp lighter thingy like near the phone and she was licking her lips cos it was dry or some shit. then i clicked! looked like it was kissing her and she was getting ready to kiss it! HAHAHAHAHAS. funny shit.
matthew was being annoying today RIGHT MATTHEW! he didnt believe kept annoying me. ya la someone tsk tsk tsk all his bullshit HUHHS. hahahas. then sat he was superly gross! he pierced his skin on his finger with stapler bullet, EEE. grossness.
guys *roll eyes.
then he was daring me to bite his finger. so i dont want. DONT WAAAANT. then he was like eeyer someone all talk no action only in a jokey way so i snapped his finger.
HAHAS.
serves yoo right yoo idiot.
then he come and fake to our tutor that where the skin peeled from his stapler bullet shit was my fault!
yeaa. okays matthew theres your name on my blog.
NOW FOR BEN CHUA BOON HOCK!
hahahas. see. your names there too.
anddd amirul is there on top alrdy.
okays im supposed to be blogging seriously, not rubbish like that. shrugs.
ooohs st, retha, mich tan, trish, sue ann, rich, so excitingg about the ahem ahem after the teachers day celebrations ((:
i love prefects. its becoming a second family.
((: yays. hahas. my lala-land fellow citizens are another story. debates on sat people!
yeaaa. okaypokays.
hi list!
hi iylia
hi nikhy
hi ben chua
hi amirul
hi toona
hi dora
hi ow
hi mao
hi dk guyy

hahahas. okays. ouuuts (:
lovees, nads.

a guy who..

2005-08-20T20:46:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
okays before i begin, here`s some chain email (:
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

hahahas. if i didnt post that then dnos i will have bad luck in my currently non-existent single love life for dnos how many years *boohoohoos.
GRINNS.
okays. anyhoos. hellos. tdays thai lesson was damn funny. rena kena bang, her my tao poot is actually my tong poot! hahahahahas. FAAAAARNEY. thanks for the lift rena/cm. and we learnt other thai words which are.. USEFUL (: so sad next week i wont be going. because i`ll be gg for the debates round! -screams. hahahas. dewei its gna be fun fun fun fun fun. right yings? marco? hahahas. for kc i think rich xinni and debs are gna debate. yay yay.
hahas yings damn funny. she says that the fantastic 4 of us are now the IN crowd. cos those two letters are the only two that are in all our names! hahahas. rishik and ben mao and meiwen are also eligible. hahas. -drinks nescafe latte.
hmms. tuition was okaypokays too. hahas. i`ve been drawing marker `inai` or henna on my hand and rena`s. she`s my hand model. hahahas. yadda yadda. nothing much else has happened i think. ohs went down to cdc on.. thursday. was it thurs? hahas. took bus down with berlyn and gissy to meet yings and dewei. had short meetg with ranjeet. hahas yings was so doof she kept calling the AHEMS HIMBOS. hahahas. faaaaaarney. in front of the boy some more! hahas. grinns. jst kidding. anyhoos dearie, dont stress chill! we loves yoo (: we were panicking tryna find location. dadada.
YAY. last night i took some AHEMS for the AHEMS! hahas. laughed out shit off. hi dodo! *wiggles fingers. dodo is my daaaaarling whenever im feeling down man. he can boost your ego like. WHOAA.
hahas marmie bought me digital fortress! yays. uhhs, its one of the books by dan brown. MMHMMS. selllllllllv i can lend yoo after i read if yoo wna.
hi rishik.
hi matty.
hi yings.
hi marco.
hi mwen.
hi dora.
hi adlynn.
hi amirul.
hi st.
hi dewei.
hi kylee.
hi dodo.
hi ben chua.
hi bryan khoo.
hi alvan.
thats my hi list for tday, and everyone else who`s reading. doo doo doo. to the o level babies - good lucks and DO STUDY!

thats all for now.
yoo knw yoo love mee-
naddie.

by now, yoo shld`ve somehow realised somehow waht yoo gta do.

2005-08-17T20:05:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
i guess its jst one of those times in life when yoo sit and bask in everything yoo`ve done that has succeeded so far, but then realise that no one`s gna hugg yoo to say that their proud of yoo.
hahas okays thats abit extreme, i can think of my friends who would (: but yoo knw waht i mean diaree. hahas. there are a million white light stars, jst which one should i dare to make my wish on?
i guess its the fact that everyone is soo mushifiedd lately. lols. oh wells. i guess he`s out there on his way, jst got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions hahas as the angsty teenage quote goes. lols.
i wont deny the fact that my heart is still only mine. and my friends. there`s no one that im willing to totally give it away to yet, cos im not convinced. maybe i expect too much *shrugs. but would yoo want me any other way? hahas. thats a rheotorical qn, not to be used in compos lols.
i think this is one of those talking to yourself in the mirror and finding yourself in your reflection, jst that yoo`re staring at the com with music in your ears. right now its `wonderall - oasis`
maybe yoo`re gna be the one who saves me? or is it yoo. or yoo. or yoo.
but ughhs, honestly. yoo are wonderful, jst that yoo dont carry yourself in a way to show the world that. and dont even dream about feelings if yoo dont want to go all the way to embrace it. if something is worth it, dont do it by halves. and everything is so different through technology and in real life. reality is my world.
i think i can live with being me because i drive my passions. when it comes to things i believe in, i stand for it and i`d lay down the world. the stuff i believe in, the stuff i dream of, are the things im PROUD of and things that i`ll do almost everything for.
if im not your 100%, then im sorry.
save tonight, and fight the break of dawn - eagle eyed cherry.
ST! loves yoo. hahas. chatting with her now.
tday was emath ca. abit crap ahs. talked to tiffanyny last night for about one hour plus i think!? hahas doing phys lols. thanks tiffanyny! im gna miss yoo SO next year. ): all of them! the seniors. gosh, okays stop it nadia dont start thinking of it.
hahas. yay. my hp jst beeped (: shall reply soon. hmms. i dont knw waht i think. oh my, if only perfection existed. lols.
not commercial perfection y`knw?
jst perfect to me. and thats all that would matter.
okays. hahas. yoo have been spared from the mushy part of this random post starting NOW.
studying for lit ca, and gtg write the malay karangan. here`s an excerpt btwn viola, disguised as cesario, and olivia in act 3, scene 1. olivia loves cesario even though they have barely met and she is well aware of their difference in status etc yet she is throwing aside all her pride and admitting blatantly.

olivia :
cesario, by the roses of the spring,
by maidhood, honour, truth and everything,
i love thee so that, maugre all thy pride,
nor with nor reason can my passion hide.
do not extort thy reasons from this clause -
for that i woo thou therefore hast no clause.
but rather reason thus with reason fetter -
love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.
viola :
by innocence i swear, and by my youth,
i have one heart, one bosom and one truth.
and that no one has, nor ever none
shall be mistress be of it, save i alone.
and so adieu, good madam; never more
will i my masters` tears to you deplore.
olivia : yet come again, for thou perhaps mayst move
that heart, which noe abhors, to like his love.

naddddds.
i dont believe that anybody feels the way i do, about yoo now.

MY TAO POOT MY TAO POOT!

2005-08-16T17:51:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
hahas so full, jst ate lunch/dinner. fish and chips! leaving most of the fries for adam tho. HEHS. never been much of a fry eater. esp those fat ones. i like the skinny crispier ones! tho its harder now with braces ):
i finally rescheduled my dental appt lols. moms been askg me too for the past few days. oh crap, i jst realised. tmrw is the spelling retest. waht are the words.. uhhs. hehs. well. lols. im doing physics now. whoa, alot of hwk seriously. like a gazillion mcq plus about 6 open ended! i cant find my practical. oh no oh no oh no. let me check my file..
AHAHS. its there. yay. saved.
okays this is crapping. lols. waht has been happening.. wells, tday i went to kcp with steph sim, nunis, nat tan, mich, erin, fern and sophie. and mr meyer [dont ride in the car, its a one way trip HAHAS joking =Pp] and mrs leong. yeaap3. gave out the forms and we got like, ALOT of sweets. yoo knw the strawberry cream gummy like thingies with SUGAR? yea. fattening like hell. mrs leong had extra and we had to finish it.. so we each took like a handful hahas! too funny. we gave extra to the badminton lao shi to give the girls.
then i gave cikgu normah three, aunty connie and mrs tan one each. lols. i love kcp. i cant believe i spent 6 years there.. the teachers are still ever so nice. i feel so sad that i dnos, i could have done so much more in kcp. i think im doing a gajillion times more stuff in kc now than last time.
good! two mins till sps gcp finishes. i need to call marco. MARCOOOOO. yoo knw, so many changes! bahhs. but its good ah, prepares us for adapting to stuff and all. dewei! we can do it! ((: yeaap3. hahas. cdc people are like another family. lala-lians! i love yoo people.
tday when i came home. i was like was giggling to myself in the lift cos i rmbrd something funny and yeaa i was alone la. then when i stepped out that second there were two foreign workers. so pai-sehhing! hahas. they were sweeping the outside.. think theres gna be some paint job or smth. yea. they looked really tired? so i went in, locked the gate. then took two cans of the coffee i drink in the morning from the fridge and gave the guy. hahas.
hahas yayyy. ytd gg to tuition was funn. matthew is retarded! hahahas. kidding matty. he has POKEY hair right rena lols. yeaa. then when we jst stepped into class? someone called! hahahs yoo shud have seen my tutors face. he gave me that "I HEAR A GUYS VOICE" look.
lols! then talk talk nonsense then when i put down and rena came in. i grabbed her hand. GUESS WHO CALLED! but dont say out loud dont say! then my tutor was like WHO AH WHO AH hahahas then rena was like. teacher, people have GOOD guy friends yoo knw. and they never talk to them for a long time. so they become happy. LIKE HER!
hahas too funny.
bahhs tmrw is emath ca! and alot of phys work to do. lols. i`ve said that alrdy. hahas. alot of things to rmbr to do man. i need my organiser (:
wells there amirul, i`ve BLOGGED. and zai! jgn kpo why okays! HAHAS. kidding jer.. okaypokays. i like the blogskin a huhs a huhs (:
thanks about the cookbook st! and trish is PSYCHO, right retha? LOLS. hahas. loves`

okaypokayys, ciaows!
yoo knw yoo love me - nads.

NEW BLOG (:

2005-08-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

dear diaree.
HAHAHS YAYNESS! i finished this blogskin in about 7 hours in total. im so proud of it. okays. tmrw i RESOLVE to study phys and chem. lols. uhms. right. since im here i shall update.. roughly.
i got a b4 for phys! lols. finally. yeaa. im gna work harder for chem too. its really difficult. bleaghs. lols. okays. uhhms. waht else has happened this week.
yea so monday was prefects marching and community singing for national day! hahas. so proud of the marching. ncc was great too. and all the UGs trained hard. (: the community singing was keraaaaaayzee. i swear. lols. then after that,we went for a cdc y2y meeting! hahahas. we all so spastic took so many crazy pics. LOLS. yeaa. we had a scary encounter in the toilet! [mwen and i] -shivers. nvm
anyhoos. then i found out something not so nice that day. but oh wells. i suppose, not all friendships are 100% honest. thats okay.
so tuesday was nat day!
HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY SG!
went to the yishun nat day celebrations with amirul, adlynna, amadea, pyrena, nadiah and st. hahahas was damn funny! there was a parallel uhms, `performance` gg on in front of us. LOLS. we took alot of pics, got free cheapo shirt, and the sg national day free bag. lols. waht more can a girl ask? hahas.
then wednesday, had a `study sesh` with da gang at esplanade! lols. was quite.. unsuccessful but a helluva lot of fun. hahahas. yings, marco, rae, dewei, mich, jas, sharky, kylee, selv, ben mao, rishik, me.
uhms, i think thats all.
yea then we went to watch charlie and the chocolate factory after that. it was FREEZING! i swear. lols. ben mao is GROSS! hahahas. he has bladder problems. lols. but thanks for the shirt. and the rest of yoo! so DONGS! except selv and yings. they didnt want their ticket stubs. HMMPHS.
yeaa. then we went home and all. blablabla.
thurs and fri, i left skool early for the e7 cluster NE concert at vj.
i had a gazillion duties, as mr meyer said, slave chores. HAHAS.
babysitting, disciplining, running here and there, cue-ing the items, making them shh, telling them to smile, and last minute? emceeing! hahas. jst the front part, the main emcess were wakerman, and a kcp girl and 3 tao nan boys.
lols. was damn funny la the whole exp. the primary skool kids askd for my email and hp. too cute. and the govindasamy boys.. -covers face. SHERRIE AND WAN CHUN ALL, yoo better not tell. and JIAJIA hahas i swear about JAY and HOWARD. lols. jiajia likes lim bo seng. =pPp.
ohs and friday the exco results were out. hahahs. congrats people! (: monday`s interview oh myy. nvm. jst cross fingers.
tday went for thai lessons and then met dewei at kfc at singpost to discuss upcoming debate plans. oh my my. lols. dewei! we can do it okays! right yings? lols.
anyhoos, damn late already. yawnnns. im gg offline.

LOVEES .<3

2005-08-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

uhhs huhs? testing lols.
YADDA YADDA.